


Goodbye, Lily

by debjunk



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Coma, F/M, Ghost Lily, inhibition potion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-19 10:07:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 29,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22142515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/debjunk/pseuds/debjunk
Summary: Lily comes to Severus Snape as he lies in a coma after Nagini's bite. She urges him to forget about her and look for the woman who will be his soulmate. Years later, when Hermione Granger comes to teach at Hogwarts, Severus wonders if she is the fulfillment of Lily's words. But can Hermione Granger ever see him as more than the mean teacher he was to her as a youth?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 63
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story is complete in 11 chapters and an epilogue. Updates should be weekly.
> 
> Thanks to brenamarie for the great beta work!! Love you, honey!

Chapter 1

Severus looked into Potter’s eyes, searching for Lily. The pain from Nagini’s bite was excruciating. He could feel his life force ebbing out of his body. The last thing he felt before losing consciousness was something dousing his neck. He knew no more.

It was a long time before Severus slowly opened his eyes. He was surrounded by a grey fog. Unable to get his bearings from his prone position, he sat up and looked around. The fog encased him, keeping him from seeing anything. Looking down at his person, he noted he was dressed in a white robe. He’d never been fond of solid white robes, but this one seemed to suit him. Glancing up again he noted the fog seemed to be thinning somewhat, and he was beginning to see some odd shapes. A slide and a swing set began to materialize as the fog cleared further, but they had no true color. Grass appeared beneath the swings, but it too had a silvery hue. Finally, he recognized the place of his childhood. The playground where he’d first met Lily formed from the haze. He smiled to himself. This was one of his favorite places. Lily and he had spent many hours as children playing here, and their friendship had been cemented right there by the tree that was near the swing set.

He rose from the ground and wandered over to the slide. He caressed the ladder leading up to it and then moved over to the swings. He sat on the one on the left—his swing. Looking over to his right, he regarded Lily’s swing. How he wished she were swinging in it.

And just like that, she was there. His eyes widened at her as she turned to smile at him. She was wearing a white robe similar to his; her red hair was stark against all the silver, white, and grey.

“Lily?”

“Severus!” Lily cried. “It’s so good to see you!”

Severus’ eyebrows narrowed. “What’s going on here?”

“You’re in a magically induced coma. The war is over, and Voldemort is finally dead. I wanted to come here and thank you for watching over Harry.”

“I’m sorry he had to die.”

“No, Severus, he lives. He killed Voldemort.”

“But, I thought…”

“He was struck down by Voldemort, but survived again.” Her hand went to Severus’, which was holding the chain of the swing. “You made it possible for my boy to defeat him. I can’t express how grateful I am for all that you’ve done. You’ve kept him alive so he could save our world.”

Severus rose from the swing, never taking his eyes off Lily. He bowed low before her and looked into her eyes. “Lily, I never stopped loving you.”

His hand came up, and he caressed the back of her neck, pulling her toward him. His lips touched hers reverently. His heart soared as he finally kissed the woman he’d loved for so long. Too quickly she was pushing him away.

She giggled. “I’m not THAT grateful, Severus.”

Severus’ face fell. Lily caressed his cheek. “I know you’ve loved me all these years, Severus, but I love James, and always will. You need to forget about me.”

“Never!” Severus declared. He withdrew a little and sat back on his swing.

“The war is done. You don’t have to hide behind your love for me anymore. You can live your life and be happy.”

“Lily, how can I be happy after what I did?”

“Severus, my death wasn’t your fault. It was Voldemort’s. You must stop beating yourself up over that.”

Severus looked at her. He saw her sincerity, which calmed him. “You truly don’t blame me?” he asked softly.

Lily shook her head. “Of course not! I know you would never do anything to hurt me, Severus. Please stop torturing yourself over it.”

Severus looked down, his brows furrowed. He felt Lily’s hand on his arm. “Severus, I’m serious. Forgive yourself.”

He nodded imperceptibly, not looking up at her. After a while, he spoke again.

“You said I’m in a coma?”

Lily nodded then. “You’d lost so much blood, the Healers felt that if they slowed down your metabolism you would be able to heal.”

“Do you know if I’ll live?” he asked tentatively.

“I have it on good authority that you will.”

Severus scowled. “I wanted to die. There is nothing for me to live for now. I’ll be sent to Azkaban and spend the rest of my days there.”

“You’ve already been cleared of any wrongdoing,” Lily explained.

Severus looked at her then. “How?”

“Harry and his friends fought for you. They even managed to have Dumbledore’s portrait speak on your behalf. You’re free, Severus. When you wake, you’ll be able to do whatever you like.”

“What I’d like, is to be with you… forever.”

“Oh, my friend.” She chuckled at his arched eyebrow. “Yes, you are my friend. I forgave you a long time ago for that incident in school.” She reached over and grasped his hand. “You are free. You can finally put your feelings for me away.” She held up her finger at him as he tried to say something. “I know, Severus, I know you care for me, but you hid behind your love for me all these years. It served you well as a spy, but now… now you can finally be yourself and be happy.”

“Lily, I love you.”

She squeezed his hand. “Give it some time. You’ll see that there is a love out there for you that will overshadow your feelings for me one hundredfold.”

“Impossible!” Severus declared, frowning severely.

“Do you trust me, Severus?”

He looked to the ground. “Implicitly.”

“Then believe me when I tell you there’s someone out there for you, and she will make you forget you ever knew me.”

“I will never forget you, Lily. I have lived only for you all these years.”

Lily smiled. “Of course I know you will always remember me, but you will find that you no longer feel how you do for me.”

“How do you know this?” Severus asked as his eyebrows knit together.

“I have it on good authority.”

“You keep saying that!”

She laughed at him. “That’s because it’s true.”

“What if I don’t want to fall in love with anyone else? What if I want to love you for the rest of my life?”

Tears came into Lily’s eyes. She touched his chest. “In there, you know we wouldn’t have worked out. You know I didn’t feel like that about you.”

“Because of Potter,” Severus said bitterly.

She looked at him as if he had two heads. “Well, yes!” she cried. “James and I are soulmates. We were always destined to be together.”

Severus rose and stalked off, stopping a few feet away. “Who would have thought in the afterlife I would still be losing to Potter,” he huffed.

Lily rose and moved behind him. “We’re not in the afterlife, and you haven’t lost to anyone. Your soulmate is still out there.”

He whirled around and glared at her. “You are my soulmate.”

Lily gazed at him sadly and reached for his chest again. “Look in here,” she whispered as her hand covered his heart. “Your heart will confirm to you that we were never meant to be soulmates.”

Severus pulled away from her and stalked off. Would he ever be happy anywhere? Even in this non-afterlife state, he couldn’t have his dream. He stopped and gazed into the haze. Thinking of what Lily had said, he looked to his heart. It was a fragile thing. He’d shielded it behind armor that not even he could penetrate. If he were honest with himself, he hadn’t paid attention to that particular organ in a long time save for his pining for Lily. Perhaps it was time for him to unlock his heart and see what was truly in it.

He closed his eyes and sighed. He pictured his fragile heart, mentally unlocking the metal casing that protected it. He gasped. Reaching up to his chest he grasped at it as if he could pull his decrepit heart right out of his body. He crashed to the ground and doubled over as he continued to grasp his chest.

Everything escaped him. His feelings at killing Dumbledore, seeing Charity Burbage slain in front of his eyes, every revel he’d needed to attend, his love for Lily, his loneliness this past year as everyone glared at him with hatred, years of kissing up to Voldemort, it all came to a head, and he felt every second of it. Tears streamed down his face as great sobs escaped his lips. He felt Lily’s hands on his back, soothing him. Despite her efforts, he felt his heart would explode, it was so filled with pain. He screamed in agony while clawing at his chest.

“Make it stop! Merlin, make it stop!”

Lily’s arms surrounded him. “Let it out, Severus,” she urged.

He turned into Lily and grasped at her, clutching her to himself and enveloping her in his arms. He squeezed her so hard that if she’d been alive, he’d have suffocated her. They stayed that way for a while before Severus finally composed himself and pulled back from her. He sniffed.

“I hadn’t realized I’d buried so much,” he murmured. “I could never let any of it out for fear I’d be found out.”

“How do you feel?” Lily asked as she grasped his arms.

Severus regarded her for a few minutes while he assessed his emotions. “Better,” he said finally.

Lily smiled. “I’m glad.” She squeezed his arm. “Now how do you feel about me?” she asked.

“I love you.”

She frowned. “Severus!”

“Well, I do.” He smirked at her frown. “However,” he continued, “I see your point. Even as a youth, I knew in my heart you didn’t care for me like that.” He looked to the ground, then back up at her. “Lily, had I been… different… do you think you might have…”

Lily thought for a minute. “You were more like a brother to me, Severus…. My best friend… I never felt like that about you. It wasn’t just because you hung around with the bad crowd and called me that horrid name.” She regarded him for a minute and then frowned. “I’m sorry.”

Severus nodded. “You can’t help it.”

“I know you don’t like hearing it, but James and I…”

He scowled. “I do not want to hear about Potter!”

She stopped. Looking into his eyes, she went on. “I know you’ll always have some feelings for me, Severus, but you can push those aside and find someone who does love you as more than a friend.”

He snorted. “No one would ever feel that about me. I am a murderer and in league with Death Eaters.”

Lily hugged him. “Give yourself a chance. When you awaken, you can start fresh. I told you, you’ve been cleared. Not everyone will look upon you with hatred. Most already think you’re a hero.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, the most awe-inspiring man in the entire Wizarding community.”

She pulled away from him and batted his arm. “Severus Snape, you are your worst enemy. I want you to remember that, and when you have the urge to be horrible, give yourself a break, and be nice.”

He scrunched his face up at her. “I doubt I know how to be nice.”

“Yes, you do.” She placed her hand over his heart again. “…in here. Follow your heart. Become the man you would have been had you not been buried in all this espionage. You deserve to give yourself that, Severus.”

He looked into her eyes and read her sincerity. He gave a quick nod.

Lily looked around and noticed the fog was thickening again. “It looks like our time is almost up, Severus.” She hugged him tightly. “Thank you again, my friend. I will always remember what you’ve done for Harry. Now you remember to forget me.”

He gave her a rueful smile. “That’s easier said than done, Lily.”

She nodded. “I understand, but I know you can do it, and you will feel better about yourself and your life if you do.”

He frowned. “I don’t see how that is possible.”

“You said you trusted me.”

He shrugged. “I do, but…”

“No buts. I have it on good authority that this is the key to your future happiness.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, but with no ire. “Who is the good authority you keep bringing up?”

She opened her mouth to answer but started to fade away.

“No!” Severus cried, becoming frantic. “Please don’t go! We’ve had so little time. Lily, stay with me! Stay with me!”

She faded from his arms as he plead with her. His heart shattered as the grey enveloped him again, smothering him until everything went black.

<hr width=9%>

Severus opened his eyes. The antiseptic walls of St. Mungo’s accosted his senses. Looking to his left, he noted the Granger girl snoozing in a chair. He cleared his throat, and she jumped up as if she’d been shocked.

“Professor, you’re awake!” she cried. She rose and rushed to the bed. “What hurts?” she asked.

He was about to say something caustic, but then remembered what Lily had said. He took a deep breath to collect himself. “My neck, of course,” he said in a huff. Well, it wasn’t nice, exactly, but compared to the scathing comment that was about to come out of his mouth, it was positively pleasant.

She grimaced. “Of course. That was a stupid thing to ask. I’ll call the Healer.” She cast her Patronus, and Severus was surprised to see an otter bounding off to get someone. “Would you like some water?” she asked.

He nodded. She took a glass with a straw in it filled with water and ice. She lifted Severus up slightly so he could drink. When he was done, he pulled away.

“A straw?” he asked.

She blushed. “I thought it might be easier for you to drink, so I conjured up one earlier.”

“Why are you here, Granger?”

She shrugged as she sat back down on the chair by his bed. “I thought you might like to have someone here when you woke up.”

He nodded and gingerly touched the bandage on his neck. “How bad is it?” he asked.

“Well, the Healers say that you’re lucky to be alive. Thankfully your vocal cords weren’t affected. You’ve been in a medically induced coma for three weeks to slow down your metabolism because you lost so much blood.”

“Three weeks,” Severus muttered. “How did I get here?”

“I had dittany in my bag. I doused your wound with it before we left the Shack. I wasn’t sure if it would help, honestly. After everything was done, Madame Pomfrey and I came back, and thankfully you were still alive.”

He looked at her for a long time. “Why?”

She worried her lip for a little while. Her eyes filled with tears. “I couldn’t let you die. I didn’t know you were on our side at the time, but I’ve always respected you, and the thought of you dying on that floor…”

Severus looked and felt very uncomfortable. Finally, he looked at her with a scowl. “Come now, Miss Granger, spare me your platitudes. I’m sure you were rejoicing in your head.”

She sat up a bit straighter. “I assure you I wasn’t. I know you were nasty as our professor, but I’ve always hoped that some of your vitriol was part of your spying act.”

Severus arched his eyebrow at her. “Given your propensity for regurgitating facts, I’m surprised that you have come to such a conclusion. With the Dark Lord gone, I suppose I can affirm your suspicions.”

Despite his cutting remark, the girl didn’t seem to be phased. Perhaps her travels with her friends had given her some backbone.

“Wait,” Hermione said. “How did you know about Voldemort?”

Severus didn’t want to divulge his vision with Lily to her. “If he had won, you certainly wouldn’t be here.”

“Oh, right…”

“You can fill me in on the details if you’d like.”

At that point, the Healer finally came in. “Sorry,” she said. “It’s been a bit crazy today.”

“I’ll step out,” Hermione said. “We’ll continue this when you’re done.”

He rolled his eyes, but she had already turned and left the room. He supposed he’d have to put up with her fawning for a while longer if he wanted to know what really happened in the battle. If he were to be honest with himself, she hadn’t been horrid to speak with. She’d definitely done some maturing since she’d been on the run.

Turning to the Healer, he listened to her explain his condition, which was much what Lily had told him.

“How long before I’m fully healed?”

The Healer waved her wand over him a few times. “You’re healing as expected.” She removed his bandage and examined his neck wound. “I don’t see any signs of bleeding from the bite. That’s very good. We’ve had trouble with this snake’s bite before. The potion we developed for Arthur Weasley seems to have worked.”

She straightened up and looked down at Severus. “I would like to observe you for another two days. If your neck continues to recover as it is now, I am fine with you being discharged at that time.”

Severus sighed. At least it wasn’t longer than two days. He hoped he would be able to stand it. He hated hospitals and hated being poked and prodded. Remembering Lily’s admonition, he kept all of this to himself. Finally, he nodded at the Healer.

“I’ll be in this afternoon and tomorrow morning to check on you,” the Healer advised. She then turned and left.

There was a light knock at the door before Hermione poked her head in.

“Just hovering by the door, hmm?”

Hermione turned twelve shades of scarlet as she slunk back to the chair she’d been sitting in. Pulling it closer to him and angling it so she could see him well, she sat down in it. By this time she’d composed herself and looked at him.

“We were going to talk about the battle. Are you still ok with that?”

Severus nodded. He was surprised she’d asked instead of just diving into it. It seemed she wasn’t as impetuous as she’d been in the past either.

They spoke for a while. Severus controlled himself until she’d gone. Once the door closed, though, Severus shuddered and put his hands over his face. He fought back tears as he mourned the lost and also mourned his life and all he’d experienced over the years.

“He’s gone finally. I’m free. Both my masters are gone.” Severus sobbed.

“Lily…”

Finally, he dried his eyes and face. Staring up at the ceiling, he assessed his feelings. Relief was his greatest emotion. Sadness for the fallen came next. His eyebrows knit in confusion. His feelings for Lily had diminished considerably. He thought about his visit with her and all she’d said. He had to admit, he didn’t feel the same way about her. He still loved her. He supposed he always would. But now, the intense feeling of loss was gone. Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to live that new life Lily said he could have. As he thought about it, he hoped it would be possible.


	2. Chapter 2

Five years later

Severus settled himself at his desk, getting ready to interview the candidate he had chosen as the new Transfiguration professor. Minerva had decided it was time to retire and spend her days traveling. As Headmaster, he could only express his disappointment at her loss, but as her friend, he had expressed his feelings differently….

“Minerva, you can’t go. Your Gryffindors will wither away without you. Why, the walls of the school may just crumble at your exit.”

“Oh, Severus, stop it. I assume there’s a compliment somewhere in those snide remarks,” she huffed.

He arched an eyebrow at her.

“My Gryffindors are much heartier than you give them credit for,” she continued. “And of course there are plenty of people who can take my place.”

“You expect me to find a replacement among the daft fools out there?”

Minerva chuckled. “I’ll miss you too, Severus,” she said with a small grin. “You knew I’ve been planning this ever since the war ended. I told you when you took your job back as Headmaster that I wouldn’t be here very long.”

“But…”

Minerva stood and came around the desk to Severus. She laid her hand on his arm, squeezing it. “I know we had a rough go of it for a while. You are too good of an actor. You had us all believing the most horrid things about you, all for the cause, Severus. I think because of that, I cherish our relationship even more. You’re an extraordinary man, and you’re like a son to me. Our not working in the same place will not end our friendship.”

Severus blushed and looked down so Minerva wouldn’t see. He thought she probably had anyway. She moved back and leaned against the desk.

“I have the perfect person in mind for my replacement if you’d like to hear.”

He looked back at her. “Do tell.”

Thus the coming interview. He had agreed that her suggestion was a good one. Now he just needed to chat with the witch to make sure they both felt this was a good fit.

He mulled over the last five years as he waited for her to arrive. The time had gone by quickly. He’d been busy recuperating for a bit. His recovery had taken a couple of months before he’d felt himself. He’d resumed his post as Headmaster then. Remembering Lily’s advice, he’d taken to thinking before speaking. It had been very difficult at first, but now he found he had mellowed. Not being the puppet of two masters tended to do that to you. He was finally at peace with himself and those around him. He felt his Headmastership this time around was a good one. He’d made some changes for the better, one of which was abolishing the house tables. Everyone now mingled with one another at meals. There seemed to be more camaraderie between houses now. He was proud of that.

His musings were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Enter,” he called.

A young woman came through the door, smiling at him. She wore tailored blue robes that framed her form nicely. Her face glowed with warmth, and her curly hair seemed to bounce with a life of its own.

“Headmaster, it’s nice to see you,” she said as she sat in the chair in front of his desk.

He arched his head in greeting. “Miss Granger. It’s been a while since we’ve had the chance to speak. How have you been?”

“Very well, Headmaster. I’ve been keeping very busy. I finished my apprenticeship with Arlena Spellworthy just last month.”

“Thus our meeting today. Tell me, Miss Granger, why do you think you should have this position?”

Hermione paused for a minute. “I feel that having been recently apprenticed, I am up on all the latest Transfiguration techniques.”

They talked in depth about the position and Hermione’s qualifications. Severus folded his hands on his desk.

“Miss Granger. During your tenure here as a student, my treatment of you was, for lack of a better word, wanting.” He stared at the desk for a minute before looking back at her. “Do you think you can work with me as your superior given our past history?”

Hermione’s lips thinned. “When you were recuperating in the hospital, you said that most of your actions were because of your spying. I don’t hold any grudges about the past, Headmaster. To be perfectly honest, I discussed your current managing style with both Minerva and Neville before I applied.” She straightened somewhat. “I would hope that if you held some animosity for me still, you wouldn’t be conducting this interview.”

Severus regarded Hermione carefully. “Miss Granger, if I am to be perfectly honest with you, I am quite impressed with your qualifications. What happened in the past, I have left in the past. I apologize to you for my harshness while you were a student. I’m sure you understand that, at that time, if it ever got back to the Dark Lord that I was showing you any nicety whatsoever, my life would have been forfeit. As you said, I wouldn’t have called you in to interview if I thought we wouldn’t be able to work together. I would like to offer you the position of Transfiguration Professor to begin officially in two months. You would be expected to report to Hogwarts in one month’s time for training and to acclimate to the castle and your classroom.”

Hermione grinned. “Thank you, Headmaster. I accept!” she cried.

Severus smirked at her. “You may call me Severus.”

Hermione’s grin widened. She stood up and thrust her hand toward Severus. “Thank you, Severus. You may call me Hermione.” Severus hesitantly extended his hand, and she pumped it up and down. “I won’t disappoint you. I’ll see you in a month.”

With that, she turned and left just as quickly as she’d come. He stared after her, wondering if he would regret having the whirlwind of a girl at the school. He mused that she was no longer a girl, but a woman. Ignoring the tightening in his chest, he rose, shook his head, and retired to his room. He had much organization to do before the teachers and students returned for the new year.

oooOOOooo

Severus moved the food around on his plate. Because it was summer, and there was never more than one other person and a hoard of House-elves in the castle with him, he’d taken his meals in his room. He frowned down at his roast beef as loneliness filled him. He rolled his eyes at how pathetic he was being. As a spy, he’d not had time to feel lonely. At least, he was able to push any lonely feelings away with feelings of dread, hate, and fear.

Now, all of that was gone, thankfully, but it left room for that loneliness to take over. His mind wandered back to his encounter with Lily at the war’s end. Since then, even thoughts of her were useless in staying away the loneliness. He still held her dear, but, his feelings for her had mellowed considerably. He was no longer obsessed with her, and to give her credit, she’d been right about him losing his feelings towards her. Not being infatuated with someone who could never reciprocate had been freeing.

His eyebrows knit together. “Lily, I still am awaiting this new love you promised,” he said to himself. He snorted. Despite Lily being right about everything else, he highly doubted that any woman would ever see him as more than simply someone to be tolerated.

Frowning down at his meal, he found he wasn’t hungry. He pushed the plate away from him, and his house-elf appeared to take it away.

“Thank you, Dippy,” he told her.

“It’s my pleasure, Headmaster Snape, sir. I’s wanting to remind you that Missy Professor Granger is to be arriving tomorrow morning.”

Severus nodded his head. “Thank you, Dippy, I did remember.”

She bowed low and disappeared with his dinner plate.

He rose from his table and settled himself into his lounge chair. He lifted the book that had laid on the table next to his chair and fingered the spine. Hermione was to return tomorrow, and Minerva would return the following day to train her. There would be some life restored to the castle. Perhaps he’d return to meals in the Great Hall with them. At least there would be someone to talk with. Other than an occasional chat with Mr. Filch or the House-elves, he’d not really spoken a word in weeks. During his first year as Headmaster, he’d debated returning to his childhood home to spend the summer. Unfortunately, there were so many organizational items to care for in the summer, that it really was impossible for him to be gone from the castle for any extended length of time. He was now a full-time resident of Hogwarts, and if he were honest with himself, he was fine with that. He had always felt that Hogwarts was like home, and now it truly had become his home. He just wished he had someone special to share it with.

Sighing heavily, he cracked his book open to the place where he’d left off. Feeling sorry for himself would not make anything better. At forty-three, he knew that the possibilities for him were slim. Living a solitary life wasn’t so bad, really. He could do what he wanted when he wanted without having to answer to anyone else. He closed his eyes. Answering to someone else had been nothing but a hardship in his past, however, he thought that perhaps answering to someone he truly loved, or better yet, working together with them, might be a very different thing. Shaking his head, he closed his book. He knew his thoughts wouldn’t let him concentrate on anything. Placing the book back on the side table, he rose and left his room. Perhaps a walk around the lake would lift his spirits.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Happy Birthday, Severus!! Thanks for all of your reviews! (I'm an exclamation point junkie.)

Chapter 3

Severus paced in front of the entry doors, awaiting Hermione Granger’s arrival. She wasn’t late. In fact, he wasn’t really sure when she’d arrive as he’d only advised her to arrive in the morning on that day. He probably should have owled her to find out. He’d been down by the doors for half an hour now and hoped she would arrive soon.

Severus always welcomed his teachers when they arrived from the summer holiday. He felt it was something personal he could do for his staff. He also enjoyed their amazement when they were not aware of his habit. No one expected Severus Snape to be friendly. He smirked to himself.

After more pacing with his hands behind his back, he turned as the door finally opened. He moved toward it as Hermione came through the door.

“Miss Granger… Hermione… welcome to Hogwarts,” he greeted.

Hermione’s eyes lit up, and she smiled at Severus. “Thank you, Headmaster!” she exclaimed.

Severus gave her a stern glare. “I believe I told you to call me Severus when the students are not within earshot.”

Hermione blushed. “Yes, you did, Severus. Forgive me, old habits and all that.”

He gave a short nod. “Did you bring anything with you?” he asked as he looked around for some kind of luggage.

She patted the purse hanging from her shoulder. “Undetectable Extension charm,” she advised.

“Ah, yes. I see you’ve upgraded from the beaded bag you used while on the run,” he mused.

She smiled. “I didn’t know you knew about that.”

“Spy,” he remarked as he placed his hand on his chest.

She laughed. “I found the poor thing had been battered from being on the run for so long. Besides, I upgraded this one to be fully weightless as well.”

He arched an eyebrow while eyeing the purse, which was turquoise and about the same size as her previous creation. “You’ll have to show me the mechanics of it sometime.”

She nodded and smiled at him.

“I will show you your classroom and quarters. I believe you should feel comfortable in them.”

“Is it not the classroom that Professor McGonagall used when I was a student?” she asked.

He shook his head as he turned and started up the stairway. He turned his head slightly so Hermione could hear his response. “We decided to move the classroom after the repairs of the castle had been completed. Our Potions master, Professor Grady, felt that he was more comfortable moving the Potions classroom to somewhere less dark and drafty. He moved into the old Transfiguration classroom.”

He led her up to the third floor and stopped in front of a door. It magically swung open to reveal her new classroom.

“I don’t remember this room being here before,” Hermione mused.

Severus turned to her. “It wasn’t. It was one of the additions created by the castle during the repair.”

“Wow,” Hermione remarked as she moved into the room. It was not much different from the previous classroom, however, it was a bit bigger, which would give students more room to spread out when they were working. She smiled. “It’s lovely, really,” she said excitedly to Severus.

Severus gave a quick nod and moved towards the door. “Your quarters are down the hall, with your office right next door for ease of accessibility. He strode down the hall and waved his wand, revealing a door.

“Are all the professors’ rooms Disillusioned?” Hermione asked.

“Yes, they are. Of course, your office doorway is always visible.” He motioned down the hall to a door next to the one they were standing near. He flicked his wand, and the door to her apartment opened.

“You’ll need to set a password later,” he advised. Stepping aside, he let Hermione enter first. He smirked as she gasped at the room. It had a spacious sitting area including ornate green couches with dark wood trim.

“Green?” she said. “Really? I would imagine Minerva would have either red or tartan in here.” She looked to Severus with a smirk.

“Surprising, I know. Who would have guessed the woman had a Slytherin streak in her?”

Hermione laughed. She moved to the sofa and ran her hand over the wood. “They’re lovely, really.”

“If you’re just trying to be polite, you may change the material, or the entire thing if you’d like.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes at the furnishings, sizing them up. “I like them, truly,” she advised. “I’ll leave them as they are.”

Severus tilted his head in agreement. “Your bedroom is through there,” he pointed.

Hermione rushed through the doors. “Oh, it’s lovely as well!” she exclaimed.

Severus came up behind her and noted the massive four-poster bed in the same dark wood as the couches in the sitting room. The bed had a green canopy as well. Hermione giggled.

“So much green!” she mused.

“And just what is wrong with green?” Severus asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Nothing, except that I’d like a little diversity.” She removed her wand and flicked it at the canopy. It immediately turned blue.

“Spreading a little Ravenclaw, Hermione?”

She shrugged. “Blue is my favorite color, and if I can have Slytherin in the front room, I can certainly have Ravenclaw in this one.”

“Perhaps Hufflepuff yellow for your loo?”

She laughed. “Sadly, yellow is NOT one of my favorite colors.” She wandered to the bathroom. Noting the chrome accents, she nodded in approval. “This is nice just as it is.”

She turned to Severus. “Thank you for showing me around,” she said with a grin. “Would you like to sit?” She motioned out to the sitting area.

“Unfortunately, I have work to do. I need to arrange a meeting with the Board of Governors to discuss the new year, and I need to approve the book list before it is sent out to the public.”

She nodded. “I’ll see you at dinner then?”

He hesitated. “Yes,” he said finally. “I’ve been eating in my room, as there is no one else here, but I will join you in the Great Hall tonight.”

“It’s just us?”

He nodded.

“Would it be easier if I joined you in your quarters?”

He mulled it over. “If you don’t mind tonight. Minerva will be here tomorrow, and we can resume meals in the Great Hall then, however, the things I need to accomplish today would be easier done if I ate in my room tonight.”

“Of course. Six o’clock?”

“Yes, I will see you then. Is there something special you want the House-elves to make for us?”

She grinned. “Surprise me.”

He arched his eyebrow before turning and leaving her to unpack. As he closed her door behind him and entered the hall, he wondered why he felt so excited about a simple meal with her. He snorted.

“She is just a colleague who needs to be fed,” he muttered to himself. “Stop being an arse.”

He stalked down the hall, chastising himself for the small flutter he felt at the thought of dinner with Hermione. He shook his head, thinking how young the girl was. Young though she was, she certainly was not a child. 

He descended the stairs to the second floor deep in thought. He admitted to himself that even though he’d hired her, up until then, he’d thought of her as the young girl he’d known as a student. Hermione Granger was now a lovely young woman, and he’d need to remember that.

His mind mulled over his newfound realization until he reached the circular stairs to his office. Despite his enjoying his thoughts about Hermione Granger having grown up, he had much to do. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, he turned his mind to the myriad of things that he needed to get done that day.

oooOOOooo

Severus magically opened the door to his office, letting Hermione enter. He nodded to her as he finished writing his proposal. She entered silently, seeming to know that he was concentrating and needed the silence. After a few minutes, he signed the document, folded it up and placed his seal on it. Summoning his owl, he sent it on its way. Finally, he acknowledged Hermione’s presence.

“Forgive me for not greeting you sooner. I was under a strict deadline on that document and barely was able to meet it.”

Hermione waved her hand at him. “Think nothing of it. I could tell you were concentrating and what you were doing was important.”

He stood at that point and motioned her to the back of the office. “Please follow me,” he said as he gestured with his hand for her to accompany him. He moved to the back wall and slipped through it. She followed him looking a bit surprised.

“I always wondered where your personal quarters were. How clever to have it hidden in plain sight,” she mused.

“Yes, the founders were very clever. If you ever need to reach me when I’m in here, knock on the middle bookcase. It’s the door.” He motioned for her to have a seat on his couch.

She ran her hand over the black leather as she seated herself.

“Severus, I would have thought you more of a green velvet kind of man.”

“Yes, well, I am an adult now. My preferences can steer away from Slytherin green.”

“Your room is lovely.”

“Thank you. I’m sure most people think I live in a dungeon with a coffin in the corner,” he said with a small smirk. Before she had a chance to reply he’d called his house-elf. “Dippy, please set out dinner, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, Headmaster, sir.”

Severus sat in the reading chair across from the couch. “So, have you settled in?” he asked.

She nodded. “Yes, thank you. I’m eager to get started tomorrow. There’s so much for me to learn.”

“Yes, but Minerva will prepare you so that you are ready.”

Hermione looked troubled.

“What is it?” he asked.

She shook her head. “It’s foolishness.”

Severus moved forward, bracing his elbows on his knees as he leaned in towards Hermione.

“Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“It’s just that…” She looked to the ground. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve been so excited to start, and I feel ready to teach. It’s just that…”

“You’re not sure that you can garner respect from the students because you’re close to their age.”

Her eyes shot up to his. “How did you know?” she asked.

“I started teaching when I was near your age,” he answered. “I had the same doubts when I started.” He looked to the table and rose from his chair. “It seems our dinner is waiting for us.”

Moving to the table, he helped Hermione to her seat and then took his own.

“Severus, this is lovely. You’ve certainly gone all out. Beef Wellington! I’ve only had the pleasure of eating this once before.”

Severus smiled shyly at her. He lifted his glass of wine. “To a delicious meal and a successful school year.”

Hermione lifted her glass and touched it to Severus’. “To a successful year,” she repeated.

They sipped together, and Hermione’s eyes never left his. He put his glass down and smirked at her.

“When school starts, we’ll have more of a normal menu. I tend to have the elves prepare more elaborate meals when I’m here alone, or when there are few in the castle. We’ll have more mundane meals when the students arrive.” He regarded her with a conspiratorial look. “I also wanted to make something special for your first day.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Severus Snape, you never cease to surprise me. Thank you! The last thing I would have expected was something so wonderful for my first night here.” Her eyes misted with unshed tears, and she looked down to her plate as her cheeks reddened. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

He regarded her for a few moments as she continued to stare at her plate. Finally, he cleared his throat.

“It was nothing, really,” he remarked. “The House-Elves did all the work.”

She nodded, and they began to eat. It was quiet for a while as they companionably shared their meal. He mused about what he’d had the House-elves prepare. If he were to be honest with himself, no other new teacher had such a spread prepared for them. He grimaced. He was pathetic.

“So, what wise advice do you have for me?” Hermione asked, breaking into his thoughts.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked in confusion.

“To be able to keep order in the classroom,” she explained.

“Ah, yes.” He thought for a while as he took a bite of mashed potatoes. “I found that being unyielding, especially at the beginning of each year, certified respect.”

“But I want the students to like me,” she replied.

He gave her a withering glare. “Hermione, we are not the students’ friends. We are their teachers. If we let them walk all over us, they learn nothing.”

She was looking at him intently.

“Besides, you can have order and not be reviled. You don’t have to teach the way I did.”

“Severus, I never said…”

He held up his hand to stop her. “I know how I was. Especially with Potions.”

“But that was because of your spying. You…”

They spoke at the same time. “needed to foster that fear.”

She laughed, and he smirked at her, pleased that she understood why he had been the way he’d been.

“I’ve worked hard not to be so overbearing since the end of the war.”

She looked at him coyly. “So, I’ve heard.”

“Oh?” he asked curiously.

“Both Minerva and Neville have sung your praises. Neville especially said how hard you’ve worked to be fair to all houses. He thought your combining of the houses for meals and activities was brilliant.”

Severus blushed. “I wanted to build unity. After the war, everything was broken. I didn’t want another generation of children to grow up with those same prejudices that led to the war.”

Tears filled Hermione’s eyes. “You are a remarkable man, Severus Snape. Most people would just leave everything as it was. After all, you’ve been through, you had every right to just leave England, but you didn’t. You returned here, fought to be the leader you knew you could be and changed the future for the better with your initiatives.”

Severus tore his eyes away from hers. “You give me too much credit, Hermione.”

“It’s about time someone did,” she countered.

He chuckled. “I am not doing this for accolades. I’m sure you understand that.”

She nodded. “I know you’re not, but you should know that what you’ve done has been recognized and is approved of. After talking with Neville and Minerva, I knew I wanted to work here. I want to be a part of what you’re doing. I want to see a future where we put away the bloodlines and everyone, including witches and wizards like me, can be accepted as equals.”

“Anyone foolish enough not to see you as an equal is daft. You shine brighter than 98% of the wizards and witches in our world.”

Her cheeks reddened as she smiled brightly at him. “Thank you, Severus. You don’t know what saying that means to me.”

He took a sip of his pumpkin juice to cover his embarrassment at her comment. He realized he wanted her to always smile at him like that. Dammit all, he was being a besotted fool. He didn’t even know her very well. Of course, he could rectify that now that she was under his employ. He shook his head slightly to get that thought out of his mind. Time to change the subject.

“Minerva should arrive here early in the morning. Let’s plan on breakfast in the Great Hall at 9:30; then you and she can begin your work.”

“Sounds perfect,” Hermione said.

oooOOOooo

Severus lay in bed awake for a long time that evening. The rest of their dinner had passed uneventfully. It had been enchanting, honestly. They had chatted late into the evening about many different topics including the latest Potions breakthroughs and some very intriguing theories in Transfiguration. He’d not passed such an enjoyable evening in a very long time, and he’d gotten to know Hermione Granger better.

He placed his hands under his head as he stared at the ceiling. He found that she was a breath of fresh air in his lonely existence. For the first time in years, he’d not gone to bed longing for companionship. Sighing, he rolled over on his side. He’d been vacillating over Hermione since he’d hired her. He wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to her. It seemed like each time he’d decided he was too old for her, something made him want to be closer to her anyway. He turned over onto his other side.

“This is ridiculous,” he muttered as he tried to find a comfortable position on the bed. He was being foolish. However enjoyable it was talking with Hermione Granger, he knew that would be as far as it would ever go. She would never… could never… feel anything more than friendship for him. He sighed. Maybe that could be enough.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my beta brenamarie for making this so much better.

Severus strode into the Great Hall the next morning feeling horrible. He’d not slept more than two hours, and he had a blazing headache. The headache potion he’d taken before leaving for breakfast had barely made a dent in the pounding of his head. He should have just made his apologies and stayed in bed.

As he approached the table, he noted both women were there already, chatting amiably. He took his seat between them and nodded at both of them.

“It’s good to see you, Minerva,” he said as he settled into his chair. “Hermione,” he acknowledged as well.

“It’s good to see you too, Severus,” Minerva exclaimed. “How was your summer?”

He shrugged. “You know how it is. I’m just digging out of the basic paperwork and getting ready to dive into the more detailed paperwork.”

“Have you gotten away at all?” Minerva asked.

He shook his head and took a bite of his eggs.

Minerva put down her fork and turned towards him. “Well, I’m here now. I insist you take a week off.”

He rolled his eyes. “I am fine.”

Hermione decided to join in the conversation at that point. “I think Minerva is right. You need a break. It’s hard to do the same thing day in and day out without one.”

“I’m fine,” he repeated tersely.

“I hear that the Rhine is lovely this time of year,” Hermione mused.

“Have you been to Egypt since they discovered the wizarding library buried under the Great Pyramid?” Minerva asked.

Severus dropped his fork on his plate and clenched his fists. “I said I am fine, ladies. I don’t need you two harpies going at me about how I need a vacation!”

Minerva huffed. “Well, your reaction speaks volumes as to how wrong you are about that.”

Hermione bit her lip as Severus threw his napkin onto his plate and rose, giving them both caustic looks.

“Good day, ladies. I hope you enjoy your training.” With that, he turned and stormed out of the hall.

He stalked to his room, ripped off his robes, leaving only his trousers and a plain white shirt, and crashed into his bed. He was so incensed he was shaking. The nerve of those two. He didn’t need a vacation; he just needed some sleep. His head pounded, so he rose again to take another headache potion. He closed his eyes as he let the potion work. Finally, he felt some relief from the headache pounding behind his eyes. He placed the vial on his counter and returned to his bed. Pulling the covers over him, he sunk into a deep sleep.

oooOOOooo

Severus awoke to a knocking on his door. He groaned as he rose from his bed. Looking at his mussed-up outfit, he decided that he didn’t care how he looked. He made his way to the door and opened it, finding Hermione on the other side.

“Oh, Severus, I’m sorry, were you sleeping?” she asked.

“Obviously,” he said succinctly.

“I’m sorry, I’ll come back later.” She turned and started to make her way through his office.

“Wait!” he said. “I am already awake; you may as well come in.” he groused.

She turned back to him. “Are you sure? I can come back later.”

“Come in, Granger.”

She hurried past him and sat on the couch. He closed the door behind her and moved to his chair. “What can I do for you?”

Hermione wrung her hands together. “I wanted to apologize for this morning. I would never presume to tell you what to do. I didn’t mean to offend you, and I’m sure Minerva didn’t either.”

Severus huffed. “You obviously don’t know Minerva very well. She’s as calculating as Albus was.”

Hermione giggled. “I actually was noticing that today. I had no idea she was like that.”

“She’s an old harpy,” Severus stated.

“Well, I think she has everybody’s best interests at heart. I’m not sure if I could say the same for Dumbledore.”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “I thought everyone was enamored with him,” he countered.

She snorted. “Hardly. I don’t like how he used Harry, or you, for that matter. When everything finally came out, I lost all respect for him.”

Severus nodded. “I grew tired of never being fully trusted by him even though I proved myself over and over again.”

Hermione looked furious. “Well, he was a fool, then.”

Severus looked at her curiously. He was surprised that she would be so incensed on his behalf. It wasn’t often that someone defended him.

“Not many would say that, Hermione,” he replied, trying not to be affected by her words.

Hermione looked to her hands in her lap. “Out of any of us, you were the most trustworthy.”

He regarded her with even more surprise. His heart constricted within himself at the thought of her saying he was trustworthy. After their past, he was amazed that she could say such a thing. He fought not to let his emotions show as he replied to her.

“I only did what needed to be done.” He looked to the ground. It was so quiet that he looked back up at her.

Hermione was still looking at her hands and seemed extremely uncomfortable.

“Anyway,” Severus said, trying to change the subject, “you don’t need to apologize about what you said this morning. I blew up for no reason. I hadn’t any sleep last night and had a horrible headache that eventually went away with two vials of headache potion. I was testy walking into breakfast. It is I who should apologize.”

Hermione nodded as she looked up at Severus. She got a mischievous grin on her face.

“So, you’re saying you’re considering taking a holiday?”

“Did Minerva put you up to this?” Severus asked caustically.

Hermione laughed. “Of course not! I just think she’s right. Taking a couple of days for yourself will not make the school crumble to the ground.”

He rose and started to pace. “Well, if it does, I will blame you.”

“So, you’re going to do it?” she asked him excitedly.

Stopping, he turned to her. “I’m still debating it, but probably. I’ve been holed up here for weeks without even a trip to Hogsmeade. It would be prudent to take a small trip.” He pointed at her. “Do not tell Minerva I said that. I do not want to hear her gloat constantly until she leaves.”

“Well, you’ll have to tell her sometime.”

“Yes, when I’m walking out the door, and not a minute earlier. Keep this to yourself.”

She chuckled at him. “Your secret is safe with me! Where do you want to go?”

He moved to sit back in his seat. “I’ll probably just visit my home in Spinners End.”

Hermione looked at him as if he had two heads. “No, you can’t do that!” she chided.

“And why not?”

“Severus, you need a vacation, not just a week in your old house.” She looked at him with determination. “You should go to France.”

“No, not France.” To Severus, France was the most romantic place in the world. He would only go there if he had someone special to share that with.

“Well, how about Switzerland or Egypt like Minerva suggested?”

He frowned. “No, neither of those places either. Perhaps Greece. I’ve wanted to go there for a long time now to search for Tamarisk flowers.”

“Greece! That sounds wonderful! You should definitely go there; you can see all of the ancient ruins.”

Suddenly Severus wished he was going there with Hermione. He pushed down the feeling and turned his attention back to her.

“Have you ever been?” he asked.

“Once. It was with my parents after I restored their memories. Things were tense between us and we thought maybe taking a trip somewhere we’d never been would help out.”

“Did it?” he asked curiously.

She brightened. “It did. We were able to take the time to talk about the war and why I felt it necessary to wipe their memories.” She sighed. “They’d been angry that I hadn’t given them a choice. They were right to be. I should have told them instead of just Obliviating them like I did. I was just so frightened for them that if they said no, they’d die, or I’d wind up doing it anyway against their wishes, which would have been even worse. Going to Greece was relaxing. It helped us to bond again, and they were finally willing to see my side of it.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that,” Severus said quietly.

“It saved their lives. I know they would have been targets had they stayed in Britain.”

Severus regarded her. She was much wiser than her years. The war had certainly made her grow up quickly. She seemed to be an ‘old soul’ in a youthful body. He realized he found that quite attractive. He inwardly chided himself. Why must he think about her in this way every time they had any communication. He pushed his musings away and concentrated on her again.

“…finally decided that it had been the best for them,” she continued.

Severus nodded as if he’d heard all of what she had been saying. He felt he could put the pieces together in any case.

“I really loved Athens. The mixture of ancient and modern was so beautiful. I would go there again in a heartbeat.”

He was tempted to ask her to accompany him, but that would be inappropriate. Besides, she was here to train. He couldn’t take her away from that.

“You’ll have to recommend some places for me to visit before I set out,” he replied finally.

She smiled at him. “I will.” She stood then. “I should probably go. I’ll let you get back to your nap time.”

He scowled at her. “Very funny, witch. I am not so old that I need an afternoon nap, you know.”

She winked at him. He looked at her incredulously.

“You’re not old, Severus,” she said with a smile, and then she was gone.

Severus pushed down the small thrill of excitement that filled him when she had winked at him. He turned and went to his desk. He had a trip to plan.

oooOOOooo

Severus climbed out of the pool, went over to his lounge chair and toweled off. His time in Greece was almost at an end, but he had one more evening before returning to Hogwarts. He found that he was all right with getting back to work. He did enjoy being the Headmaster. It amazed him that this position had given him a sense of fulfillment that he hadn’t felt at any other time while at Hogwarts. After years of wanting to pull his hair out because of the students, he found that with his more removed status, they didn’t annoy him as much as they had before. That certainly made all the difference.

This trip had definitely been what he’d needed. He had spent hours wandering the countryside, gathering ingredients like the Tamarisk flowers he’d been searching for. He had also spent a great deal of time wandering ruins like the Parthenon.

Severus slathered himself in sunscreen and covertly downed another potion to protect his fair skin from the sun. With the way he burned to a crisp, he always had to double protect himself. Settling onto the lounge, he picked up his book and tried to read. His mind was definitely not into it. It wandered to his time exploring the stacks in the National Library of Greece. There, he’d found numerous books that were intriguing. Often he’d come across one that would make him wonder what Hermione would think of it.

Severus sighed. Lying by the pool had given him a lot of time to think, and his mind had been on Hermione Granger a lot. He’d enjoyed her company during the couple of days before he’d left for Greece. He found he liked talking to her. She was one that could hold her own in a conversation, and she was quite intelligent. He found her to be quite attractive too, and he admired her determination and desire to succeed. His thoughts had led to one conclusion. He was attracted to her.

He wasn’t one to fool himself, though. She had no interest in him; he understood that. Hermione was young and beautiful, and he was someone she’d never think of in any romantic way whatsoever. Not to mention, he was pretty sure the witch was seeing the Weasley brat. He was her employer and nothing more. It was unfortunate for him, really, but he wasn’t surprised; he was used to disappointment.

“Nice job, Lily. You send someone who couldn’t possibly fall in love with me. I hadn’t thought you could be so cruel.”

Severus frowned. Why was he always destined to fall for unattainable women? Sadly, there was nothing for it. He’d need to control himself—something he was adept at doing—and not let his romantic feelings for the witch overtake him. Somehow, he felt he was already failing at that miserably.

oooOOOooo

Hermione opened her door and immediately smiled.

“Severus! You’re back!” She stepped aside so he could enter her room. “How was your trip?” she asked excitedly.

He billowed into the room and turned toward Hermione. “It was relaxing,” he admitted. “I’m glad I took the time to go.”

“Well, come in and sit down. I want to hear all about it,” Hermione gushed as she motioned for him to have a seat on one of her couches. She settled in across from him on its twin. “What was your favorite part?”

Severus thought for a moment. “I truly enjoyed everything, even lounging by the pool. If I were to pick one thing, though, I think it would be wandering the hillside looking for Potions ingredients.”

She chuckled at him. “Did you find a lot of things?”

“I brought back lots of Tamarisk flowers, juniper berries, and hyacinth. I found an entire field of Tamarisk bushes. They were quite breathtaking.”

He produced a package from his robes. “I brought you a souvenir,” he said softly.

“Oh, Severus, that was so thoughtful of you!” she said as she accepted the package. Removing the blue wrapping paper, she lifted the top of the box. She gasped and lifted out a beautiful bowl with a lid. It was stone color with black carvings of Grecian goddesses.

“I don’t know how you found this! I have a goblet that matches it exactly.” She rose and went into the other room, coming back with the goblet. She placed both pieces on the coffee table in between the two couches. “They’re lovely together,” she mused.

“I’m glad you like it,” Severus said. He didn’t reveal that he’d been drawn to the item and could not get it out of his mind. He obsessed over getting it for her until he returned to the shop and had it purchased and wrapped.

“How has your training been with Minerva?” he asked.

“It’s gone well. I’m looking forward to the first day of school.”

“There’s not much time left,” Severus mused. “I wanted to go over the class schedule with you before I approve it.”

“Oh, of course! What did you have in mind?”

“I’d like to do something new this year with classes. As we’ve combined the Great Hall, I’d like to further combine classes. Instead of having one or two houses represented per class, I’d like to combine all students together randomly. I have already sent out Owls to the other faculty to gather their feelings on the matter as well.”

Hermione smiled at him. “That sounds wonderful, Severus. How will you divide everyone?”

“I haven’t quite figured that out yet. I don’t want the same students in every class together. I’d like a rotation of some sort. With about twenty in each class, I’m thinking about five from each house intermingled together.”

Hermione nodded, deep in thought.

“I have an idea,” she said, excitement in her voice.

She flicked her wand, and a witch’s hat came sailing from the other room and settled in her grasp. “I’ve been experimenting with this for my classes. You know how the younger students clam up and don’t speak for the first couple of weeks. I have charmed this to be able to pull names randomly so I can ask them questions. It’s similar to the charm used on the Goblet of Fire when it picked the Tri-Wizard contestants. It also has some aspects of the Sorting Hat included. We could change the Arithmantic coding to whatever you want. It can pick your classes for you.”

“That’s a clever idea, Hermione. Do you think we could modify it to create multiple class lists?”

“I don’t see why not. I could also have it automatically list the classes on parchment so it’s all in one place, and we won’t have to take notes.”

Severus reached out and took the hat, examining it.

“Can you have it done by the end of the week?” he asked.

Hermione chuckled. “I was just about to say that I could get it done by then.”

Severus smirked. He rose and bowed his head slightly to her. “I should be going. I still have much to do.”

Hermione rose as well. “Thank you for stopping by, and thank you so much for the gift.” She smiled at him, and he couldn’t help smiling back. Hermione’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Severus was sure that was the first time she’d seen him fully smile. He had only really started doing it a couple years prior.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he replied as he swept through the door. He moved down the hall swiftly, thoughts of her smile in his head.

It would be lovely if she smiled at him like that every day. Perhaps if she saw him as more of a friend than an employer… He smirked to himself. They were already friendly towards one another. It probably would only take a bit more effort to actually consider each other friends. Seeking her out more and finding things in common to talk about would probably be enough to start up a friendship. Being in the castle with so few adults, he could see them becoming rather close in a short period of time. He smiled to himself at the thought of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all your support and reviews. I thought I’d throw in a two-fer for the weekend because… I hate waiting for stuff to be completed as much as you all. Many thanks to brenamarie for the beta work. There’s a little bit of mystery at the end of this chapter. Enjoy!

Chapter 5

The rest of the summer break flew by. Hermione’s modifications to the witch’s hat had been completed, and all the classes were now arranged. Although there were some classes where students were with the same individuals, no single student had the exact same students in any of their classes. Severus was satisfied with the outcome and hoped the students would grow to enjoy working with all houses as much as they seemed to enjoy dining with one another.

But now was not the time to ruminate about such things. He was standing in front of the students; the new children had been sorted, and he was ready to give his welcoming speech. He stepped up to the podium, his black robes giving him an elegance and authority that no one could ignore.

“Students, welcome back for another year at Hogwarts. Those of you who are returning are here to continue upon your journey of discovery while our new students are just about to begin their endeavor. You will find that magic is not just wand waving, but also includes ability, logic, and mindfulness to achieve the greatest results.

“You are here to learn and will be expected to behave in ways that are becoming of young witches and wizards. Remember, Mr. Filch has a list of all Wheezes and Zonko’s products. Any tomfoolery with such items will not be tolerated. Additionally, as the name implies, the Forbidden Forest is… forbidden.”

His eyes swept over the hall, resting on seemingly every student. “I would like to bid farewell to our Transfiguration instructor of so many years, Professor Minerva McGonagall. She has joined us for the feast but will be departing in the morning. Teaching Transfiguration this year will be Professor Hermione Granger.”

He turned to see her rise and give a quick wave to everyone. She sat down quickly, despite the great deal of applause in the room.

Once the room quieted, he finished his speech. “May you enjoy your time here this year and find great success in these halls. Please enjoy the feast.”

Bowing slightly, he waved his hand and the feast appeared. Turning, he left the podium and returned to his place in the center of the teacher’s table. Hermione had been placed next to him by the house-elves. It had been an odd choice, as the new teacher usually sat near one of the ends of the long table. He wondered if the perceptive elves had read something in their Headmaster’s interactions with her these few weeks and saw it fit to throw them together. No matter the reasoning, he was secretly glad she would be next to him for the year. It would definitely help in his desire to make her his friend. He nodded to her as he sat in his seat and began placing some chicken and mash on his plate.

“Your speech was lovely, Severus,” Hermione said as she too filled her plate.

He acknowledged her with a quick nod of his head. “Have your nerves settled any?” he asked her.

She looked at him with wide eyes. “How did you know? I thought I was looking so calm.”

“Spy,” he said drolly.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “You use that excuse for everything!” she said with a laugh.

He leaned near her and whispered in her ear. “That’s because it is useful for any occasion.” He pulled back a bit. “It has shaped everything I do. My spying makes me aware of my surroundings more than most. I noticed you have been a bit more fidgety than usual, fiddling with your skirt and the like. Someone without my background would not have thought anything of it.”

She didn’t look at him, but out at the students. “Or maybe it’s just that you are keeping tabs on your new professor.”

He moved back in mock indignation. “You wound me, madam.”

She giggled then. “It would take much more than that to wound you, sir,” she replied.

“True,” he agreed. “I’m not one of your whiny friends.”

“Whiny? Who are you accusing of being whiny?”

Oh, you know…” He placed some chicken in his mouth and chewed deliberately, drawing out the time before he finished his remark. “The boy wonder and your boyfriend.”

“Oh, Ron’s not my boyfriend,” Hermione replied quickly. “That ship sailed a long time ago. I’m surprised you didn’t read about our breakup. It was all over the Prophet.”

“I try not to read that blathering rag. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. After the war, everyone was sure you’d be heading for the altar within a few months. I was somewhat surprised I wasn’t hiring Hermione Weasley as my Transfiguration professor.”

Hermione snorted before placing her fork on her plate. She sat back and folded her arms. “We ended it a while ago. We dated for about a year after the war. Ron is sweet, really, but once the war was over, we found our differences far outweighed our similarities. It became too much. We mutually decided to end the relationship, but if you ask Rita Skeeter, it’s just another one of my torrid love conquests.” She leaned into Severus and whispered, “I’m a man-eater, you know.”

“I had no idea,” he replied in pretend shock.

“Oh, yes. Ever since my fifth year when I threw myself at both Harry and Viktor. I broke both of their hearts, you see. And then I did the same to Ron. He’ll never be the same, according to the Prophet. Never mind he dates a new woman every week.”

“As I said, I never read the rag. I find Skeeter to be especially revolting.”

“Then I guess you haven’t heard about our relationship either?” Hermione asked innocently.

Severus’ eyes grew large, and he swallowed hard. “I beg your pardon?” he asked with trepidation.

“Oh, it’s all over the Prophet. I think that little bug snuck onto Hogwarts grounds and snapped a picture of us when we were walking by the lake last week. Evidently, we are having a torrid love affair.” She looked crossly at her plate, reached over and popped a Brussel sprout into her mouth.

Severus just stared at her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought you knew or I’d have told you. I just assumed you didn’t want to say anything because that bug doesn’t deserve any attention.”

“Hermione, I…”

“Severus, don’t. She’s a bint who has hated me from the first time she laid eyes on me, and I’ve done things that have made her hate me even more. I’m just sorry you have been brought into all of this. Evidently, I’m in it for your money. I’m slowly poisoning you, by the way. You shouldn’t last the semester.” She huffed into her glass of pumpkin juice.

Severus was mortified, but he also recognized the need to lighten the mood as Hermione had become incredibly maudlin. He reached out and took his cup of tea. He sniffed it and looked at her. “I must say, Hermione, the poison you laced this tea with is imperceptible. I would have never suspected.”

She looked at him with wide-eyes. Pomona, who was on his right and had been listening in on the conversation burst into laughter. Flitwick poked his head around Hermione and grinned. “Good one, Severus,” he said with a wink. Finally, Hermione grinned at him.

“I suppose all of you are aware of this article?” Severus asked. Those in earshot all nodded. “Thank you all for ignoring it, however, it may be prudent in the future to bring such hogwash to my attention.”

There was a chorus of agreement among those at the head table. “I can assure you there is nothing to these foolish rumors,” Severus said with finality. Everyone agreed with him wholeheartedly, but he did not fail to see the look of disappointment on Hermione’s face as she began to eat her dinner again.

oooOOOooo

The first few weeks of school went by quickly. Severus found the children were doing well in their classes. The mix of all houses helped the students to develop a strong camaraderie, and even Quidditch games didn’t turn ugly like they had in years past. There was still a healthy competition, but the barbs and digs, except for the good-natured kind after a win, seemed to disappear.

“You seem far away,” Hermione whispered to Severus as he looked out among the students.

“Hmm?” he said as his gaze turned to hers.

“You’re far, far away.”

“Oh, I was thinking about how the students have united so well this year.”

Hermione smiled. “You’ve done a marvelous job here, Severus,” she said. “The students are blind to houses for the most part. It’s refreshing.”

Severus looked down at his plate and scooped some mashed potatoes onto his fork. “And do your classes continue to go well?” he asked.

“Yes, I appreciate your guidance before school started. Without Minerva and you, I’d be so lost.”

He smiled slightly at her as he continued eating. They sat quietly eating for a few minutes until Severus turned back to Hermione.

“Are you ready for the Hogsmeade trip this weekend?”

She smiled. “Oh, yes. It will be fun. Are you sure I can’t entice you to go with us?”

“The Headmaster doesn’t chaperone on these trips.”

She looked over at him as she finished chewing. “I know, but you could just come along for fun. There’s nothing in the bylaws that says the Headmaster can’t have fun.”

“Well, if there was any fun to be had at Hogsmeade, I’d join you, but being mobbed by students is definitely not my idea of fun. Maybe I’ll accompany you on a non-Hogsmeade weekend. I don’t mind the town when it’s not crawling with students.”

Hermione regarded him thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that,” she said. “As for this weekend, we’ll have fun without you,” she said.

Severus rolled his eyes. “Enjoy yourself. Watch out for snogging students, though. They especially like to congregate by Madam Puddifoot’s.”

“Don’t I know it!” Hermione said as she chuckled.

Severus looked down at his meal and swished his potatoes into his gravy. Perhaps a trip to Hogsmeade with her would help cement their friendship. He looked over to Hermione, who had moved on to dessert and was digging into a raspberry trifle.

“How about tomorrow after classes?” he asked cryptically.

Hermione looked over at him. “Tomorrow for what?”

“A trip to Hogsmeade. I need some Potions ingredients and would have needed to go within the week anyway.”

“All right, and I’ll buy you a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks when we’re done,” Hermione said with a smile.

“Excellent. Let’s meet down at the main doors at three-thirty,” Severus said.

“Sounds good,” Hermione said as she rose from the table. “I’ll see you then.” She smiled at him as she moved from the table and left the Hall.

There was that smile he wanted to see. Severus almost smirked as he looked back to his meal and continued eating, thinking of Hermione’s smile.

oooOOOooo

Severus descended the stairs towards the school’s exit. He would never admit it, but he was excited about going to Hogsmeade with Hermione. He hoped the outing would go well and get them one step closer to becoming good friends.

He rounded the stairs and saw her waiting by the doors. He stopped short for a minute as he gazed upon her. She really didn’t look any different than she usually did, but the way her curls surrounded her face and the light that shone in her eyes as she looked up at him… it took his breath away. He continued down the stairs, making sure his expression was blank, and came up to her.

“Hermione,” he greeted.

“Severus,” she answered.

“Shall we?” he asked as he motioned to the door.

She nodded and moved forward. He opened the door for her and moved next to her as they made their way to the gates.

“Did you want to Apparate or walk into town?” he asked.

Hermione looked around. “Let’s walk. The weather is so nice; let’s enjoy it while we can.”

Severus nodded. They fell into an awkward silence, and Severus didn’t really know what to say as they moved to the gates and left the school grounds. Finally, he asked an inane question.

“How were your classes today?”

Hermione huffed. “Those fifth-years are nothing but a bunch of trouble makers.”

“Sounds like several students I’ve taught, present company not excepted.” He smirked but didn’t make eye contact with her.

Hermione swatted at his arm, and his head whipped around, his eyes showing slight surprise at her forward gesture.

“You have to admit,” he continued, “between your rivalry with Slytherin and all the trouble you and your friends got into, you were incorrigible.”

Hermione huffed. “I suppose you think it’s funny that I’m dealing with the same thing. What goes around comes around, I suppose.”

“Indeed.”

“But we weren’t as bad as…”

Severus looked over at her with interest.

“I mean… we didn’t…”

He arched an eyebrow.

Hermione blushed and looked straight ahead. “Nevermind.”

He decided to save her from herself at that point.

“What is so horrible that your fifth-years are doing?”

Hermione gave Severus a sideways glance. “They all plotted together to Transfigure their books into Cornish pixies. Unfortunately, they decided to do it when I was called out of the room by Argus, so by the time I got back in the class, all hell had broken loose. Five students had been dragged up to the ceiling; the others were all hiding under their desks and screaming.”

Severus snorted.

“Yes, very funny,” Hermione said tartly. “I was tempted to let the students on the ceiling fall without a cushioning charm, but luckily for them, I thought better of it.”

“I had no idea you were so vindictive, Hermione,” Severus chided, trying to hide a smirk.

“Well, I hope you know I’d never truly do something like that, but I have to admit, the thought did cross my mind.”

“I can fully empathize with you. I’m sure you can imagine the restraint I showed during my tenure.”

Hermione shook her head and giggled. “You win. Harry, Ron, and I were a menace, I admit it. But we were never stupid enough to pull anything like that in class.”

“I don’t think I would have put it past you back then.”

Hermione stopped and looked at him. “I apologize.”

Severus stopped as well and looked at her curiously. “For what?”

“For being part of what you hated about teaching. We were involved in everything, and you were left to follow us around to make sure we didn’t die.”

“It’s fine. It was part of my role.”

“Well, I’m sorry anyway,” Hermione said firmly.

Severus regarded her, meeting her serious gaze. “Apology accepted.”

Hermione sighed and looked away. They began to walk again slowly.

“Thank you. I hadn’t realized how embarrassed I was about all of that,” she admitted. “You were honest with me about how you treated us. I think I was feeling guilty for not apologizing before this.”

“It wasn’t necessary, Hermione.”

She stopped again and reached out for his arm. “Yes, it was. I’ve been enjoying the time we’ve spent together, Severus. I think of you as more than just my employer. I think of you as a friend, and friends should work out things from their past.”

Severus hesitated. He was touched that she’d taken the time to apologize to him. Warmth filled his chest as he thought about her already considering him a friend. He smirked finally.

“I consider you to be a friend as well,” he said simply and turned back to the pathway, moving forward.

They were already at the edge of town, so he made his way to the apothecary with Hermione silently walking next to him. He glanced over at her, making sure she wasn’t upset with anything. She had a small smile on her face as she walked. She wasn’t smiling at him, per se, but the idea that something he’d said had brought that smile to her face satisfied him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to brenamarie for looking this over.

Severus hurried through the halls and down the stairs. Word had reached him that Hermione and several students had been attacked in Hogsmeade. When he’d heard, his heart had frozen in his chest. He immediately pictured Hermione and the students severely injured, and worry filled him. He raced into the hospital wing, where several students were being attended. He hurried over to Hermione, who was sitting on one bed, flexing her arm. He looked at her in worry. “What happened?” he demanded.

“We were attacked,” she explained.

“How? By whom?”

“I was gathering some of the children to head towards the carriages when two people all dressed in black appeared and started shooting spells at me. Some of the students who were in the area were hit as well, but I think I was the target.”

Severus put his hands on her arms and looked Hermione over. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, his heart filled with dread.

“My arm was hit, but Madame Pomfrey was able to fix it already. Most of the children are fine, but Mr. Willard took a stunner to the chest. Poppy said he’ll be all right with some rest.”

Severus looked gravely around the room until his eyes rested on the Willard boy. “The question is, why were they attacking you?”

At that point, Mr. Filch rushed into the Infirmary. “This message appeared on the Entrance doors a few minutes ago, Headmaster.”

Severus looked at the note and read it quickly. His face turned pale as he passed the note to Hermione. She read the missive aloud.

“Mudblood! You got lucky today. Next time we will kill you and send you to hell where you belong.” She looked up from the note, and her eyes met Severus’. He saw a flash of fear in them. “Severus, I’m a danger to the children.”

Severus ripped the note from Hermione’s hand and crumpled it into a ball. “Nonsense! We will not cave to these… these… miscreants.” He tapped the ball of parchment as he spoke. “We’ll figure out who these fools are and send them to Azkaban, where they belong!” His tone softened. “You’re sure you’re all right?” he asked again.

Hermione nodded. “I’ll be fine, Severus.” She gave him a watery smile, and he could see tears hiding just under the surface. He pulled her to him and hugged her. Ignoring the students who noticed and were looking at them strangely, he held Hermione in his arms. Her arms wrapped around his, and she pulled him to her desperately.

“Shh, it will be all right,” he soothed. After a little bit, he pulled away, looking her over again. She seemed to be somewhat pulled together. “Whoever did this was obviously aware of the Hogsmeade trip. They also had some help placing that message on the doors. We can probably deduce your attackers know students who are feeding them information and doing their bidding.”

“Oh, Severus, who would do such a thing?” she asked.

Madame Pomfrey wandered over at that time. “Everyone is fine,” she reported. “Mr. Willard will need an hour or two to rest, then I’ll let him go. Do you have any idea who the attackers were, Headmaster?”

Severus shook his head. “No, not yet. We’ll need to investigate.”

He turned to Mr. Filch, who was still standing nearby looking worried. “Mr. Filch,” Severus said. “Would you covertly speak with the portraits and see if any of them have heard rumblings from the students about any issues with Professor Granger, or any plans for a surprise attack?”

“Right away, sir!” he said.

Argus turned quickly and sprinted out of the hospital. He was always quick to act when given a task. Severus smirked as he watched the older man head out. His attention returned to Hermione and Poppy.

“Can Professor Granger go, Poppy?” he asked gruffly.

The Mediwitch nodded and looked at Hermione. “If that arm gives you any trouble, you come right back, and I’ll give you a pain potion until it’s feeling better.”

“Thank you, Madam Pomfrey,” Hermione said as she rose from the bed. Severus and she were soon heading out the doors of the Infirmary.

“Perhaps we should go to my office to see what we can discover about this attack,” Severus suggested.

She nodded. They walked in silence until they got to the rotating stairwell. Each rode it up while buried in their own thoughts. When they entered Severus’ office, he strode to his desk, removed the crumpled note from his pocket, and worked to straighten it out again. Hermione moved next to him and looked at the paper curiously as Severus waved his wand over it.

“No magical signatures. The writing was obviously done by a dicta-quill. I don’t see anything that gives us a clue.”

Hermione bent low and examined the parchment. She reached out and felt it between her fingers.

“This is no ordinary parchment. I was in Scrivenshaft’s today talking about different parchment options. He showed me a piece of this after pulling it out of the back room. It’s got silk incorporated in the pages. It’s a special-order parchment that is very expensive.” She straightened and looked at Severus. “I think if we can get a list of purchasers of this paper, we may have some good leads.”

Severus lifted up the paper and felt it. “It does feel softer than most parchment. I hadn’t noticed before because it was so crumpled.” He looked at Hermione. “Are you up for another trip to Hogsmeade?”

Hermione nodded.

Severus folded the parchment and placed it in his pocket. “Let’s be off, then,” he said as he strode to the door.

Much later, they returned to his office.

“I hadn’t realized that Scrivenshafts and Flourish and Blotts were connected,” Hermione said as she settled into his couch.

“Yes,” Severus added. “It saves us time not having to travel to Diagon Alley or send an owl. At least there are only twenty names to investigate.”

“What about Malfoy?” Hermione said with a grimace. “I would hope he’s changed, but I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Severus sat next to her and looked at the list in her hand. “I’ve spent a good bit of time with him since the war. He seems truly repentant. I don’t think it’s him.”

A shiver ran through Hermione. Severus placed his hand on hers. “Are you all right?”

She looked to the ceiling. “Every now and then some memory of the war creeps up on me. I was just thinking of when I was held captive at Malfoy Manor with Harry and Ron.” Turning her head to him, she gave him a wan smile. “As you can imagine, it wasn’t pleasant.”

“I never heard the full story on that one,” Severus said as he rubbed circles on the back of her hand.

Hermione pulled her hand from his and turned it to face up. She brought her other hand over it and traced some light marks across her wrist. She waved her hand over her wrist, and the glamour she’d placed on it disappeared. Severus gasped as he saw the word ‘Mudblood’ inscribed there, almost as red as the day it was carved into her.

“Merlin, Hermione,” he said as he took her wrist and examined it.

“I’ve tried everything I can think of to get rid of it. Bellatrix used some dark magic when she carved it into me. The glamour is the only way I can hide it.”

Severus looked up at her with concern. “Hermione, I’m sorry. I should have known. I should have done something.”

Hermione pulled her wrist from Severus’ hand. “Severus, this has nothing to do with you.”

“I was…”

“A spy, who even if you knew, couldn’t do anything about it. You didn’t know. You just said so yourself. Believe it or not, every bad thing that happened during the war wasn’t spurred on by you. Bellatrix LeStrange was psychotic.”

Severus was quiet for a few minutes, lost in the horrors he’d seen during the war. After a while, he motioned to her wrist. “Do you mind if I look at it? I may be able to figure out what she did.”

She extended her wrist once again, and he took it gently. He traced the cursed writing and then took out his wand and waved it over the marks a few times. He chanted a few words as he waved his wand. “I think I know what she did,” he muttered, not looking up from her wrist. “I’ve seen her use a similar spell before. If it’s ok, I’d like to try and remove the dark magic.”

“Please,” she said breathily.

Severus concentrated and began to sing the words to remove the spell. “Tollere Obscura, Tollere Obscura.” His wand circled the hated word as he continued to sing. Blue light fell from his wand and surrounded the wound. In an instant, the blue light seeped into Hermione’s skin and drew the word into a ball of lines. It slowly rose from her wrist, and Severus took his wand and chanted, “Tolle.” The ball of lines exploded and dissipated into the air. Hermione gasped. Severus looked up sharply.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked with trepidation.

She didn’t say anything. She carefully brought her wrist closer to her. Taking her finger she traced where the ugly epithet had been. Tears rolled down her face as she explored her now pristine skin. She sobbed as she looked to Severus. Throwing her arms around him, she hugged him furiously. His arms hesitantly surrounded her.

“It’s ok,” he said softly.

“Oh, Severus, thank you!” she cried. “I can’t… you don’t know… I… thank you.” She sunk into him, and he rubbed her back as she cried some more. After a bit, she pulled back. “I never thought I would be free of it, you know?” she looked at her wrist again. “I’ve felt so ugly for so long.”

Severus came unglued. “Hermione,” he said as his hands surrounded her arms. “You are beautiful. Don’t let that blasted witch make you think poorly of yourself. Whether that foul word was on your wrist or not makes no difference. You are intelligent, graceful, and lovely. Don’t let her win!”

She wiped her tears and smiled. “You’re sweet for saying so,” she said with a sniff.

“Hermione Granger, I am many things. Sweet is not one of them.” He scowled at her.

She chuckled. “Oh, don’t be silly,” she said conspiratorially. “You hide it well, but you are.”

“Granger!”

She laughed at him. Her smile faded a little, and she became serious again. Her hand reached out and grasped his. He felt his heart leap into his chest with her touch. His eyes came up and met hers. “Really, Severus, I can’t thank you enough.”

He wanted to kiss her then, but something held him back. Probably the thought that she’d slap him across the face if he tried something like that. Being thankful for something was one thing, being attracted to his dour mug was entirely another. He frowned slightly as he pulled his hand away from her.

“I’m glad I could help,” he replied and stared straight ahead. Hermione stared at him for a bit and then suddenly stood.

“I should go,” she said nervously.

He looked up at her and saw her biting her lip.

“Good night, Severus,” she said quickly. She nearly ran out of the room.

He scowled. She must have realized what he looked like and how close he’d come to kissing her. No wonder she’d fled. Scowling more, he rose and went through his bookcase into his room. Slamming the door behind him, he moved to his bedroom, slammed that door as well, and retired for the evening.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 

Severus entered the staff room and nodded at the teachers gathered there.

“Thank you for coming to this impromptu meeting. I wanted to update everyone on the issue we had at Hogsmeade two weeks ago.” He moved to the empty seat at the front of the room. “I met with Lucius Malfoy yesterday. I thoroughly vetted him before consulting him on the list of people we’d created according to who’d purchased the parchment the note was written on.”

“Severus,” Aurora broke in. “What if the person who’s after Hermione stole the parchment or used a friend’s?”

Severus regarded the Astronomy professor carefully. “A good question, Aurora. It’s possible that either of those things are true. However, we need to start with what we have, which is this list of suspects.” Severus showed them all the paper with the twenty names on it.

“Lucius was able to help me clear ten of these names because of various reasons. Loren Britaine is evidently deceased. Joseph Pilar is one hundred ten years old and a hermit. The other eight are either out of the country or so far away, it would be highly unlikely that they could Apparate into Hogsmeade without major difficulties. That leaves ten others, of which Lucius felt there were five who are top suspects.”

Severus looked towards his groundskeeper. “Thanks to Argus, who did an incredibly thorough job interviewing non-human sources in the castle, including House-elves, knights of armor, and portraits, we have found one man who not only is a top suspect, but his name has been whispered in the halls of the school in association with Hogsmeade visits since the beginning of the year.”

“Well, get on with it, Severus!” Flitwick groused. “Who is it?”

Severus’ lips thinned. He looked to Flitwick and then turned his attention to Hermione.

“The person in question is Corban Yaxley. As many of you know, he disappeared from the Battle of Hogwarts and hasn’t been seen since. His nephew Brandon Fisher is a Fifth year. One of the figures in the tapestry in the Slytherin common room told Argus that he’d heard Mr. Fisher saying he’d told his uncle when the Hogsmeade trips were in the hopes that they’d be able to meet covertly. I have interrogated Mr. Fisher, and he has advised he’s never known where his uncle is, but they occasionally meet secretly as they are very close.”

Flitwick asked a question then. “Can we use their relationship to flesh Yaxley out?”

“They met in Hogsmeade the morning of the attack. Yaxley will be wary if his nephew reaches out again so soon. Mr. Fisher also said he was given a sealed letter to place on the entry doors once the trip had ended. After questioning him, I am certain he didn’t know what it contained.”

“Then the attackers hadn’t planned on killing me that day. The note said I had gotten lucky, but if it was given to Mr. Fisher before the attack, they planned to only hurt me.”

Severus nodded. “Yaxley probably wanted you to know you’re a target to try to scare you.”

“Well, he succeeded in that, but he underestimates me if he thinks I’m going to just let him kill me without a fight.”

Severus scowled. “No one is going to be killed, Hermione.”

Hermione nodded quickly. “So, we have until the trip next month to plan what to do?” Hermione asked.

Severus nodded.

“What’s your plan?” she asked.

Severus glowed inwardly. The fact that she knew him well enough to know he had a plan warmed him.

“It’s a simple plan. All the staff will accompany you on the next trip.” He paused for a minute.

“Won’t that be conspicuous?” Hooch chimed in.

“Not if we’re Polyjuiced as students,” Severus continued.

Hermione raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s brilliant,” she mused.

Severus tilted his head at her in acknowledgement. “We simply do what everyone else is doing and stay somewhat near Hermione. When Yaxley and his friend show up, we’ll have them before they can even shoot off a spell.” He looked around at all the staff. “But in case it doesn’t go as planned, here’s what we’ll do.”

The rest of the meeting was spent planning. Once all was done, Hermione waited until everyone else had cleared out before she went up to Severus. “You’re really in your element with this,” she mused.

Severus shrugged and looked to the map he’d created for the attack.

“No, really,” she said. “Your brilliant mind lives for this kind of thing, doesn’t it?”

Severus knew his cheeks were now red, and he turned to go over to the window so she wouldn’t see his embarrassment. “I’ve had a lot of experience,” he ground out after a minute.

He felt her hand on his shoulder. “Severus, I wasn’t implying anything negative. You’ve just got a knack for planning things. You have the ability to see all outcomes and prepare for them. I really respect that about you.” She squeezed his shoulder, and all too soon her hand had been removed. He turned to her then and gazed into her eyes. He thought he saw something there briefly, but then it was gone. Hermione cleared her throat and turned from him. “I should be going. Tons of papers to grade, you know,” she said nervously. She turned back to him and smiled, waving a little. He arched his brow at her. “See you later,” she said and scurried out of the room.

He stared after her, mulling over the last several minutes. Something had stirred in him when he’d looked at her. He felt she had been affected too. What he’d felt had been something more than just friendship. Could she feel it too? Her reaction had seemed so intimate; surely that meant something. He just wasn’t sure what.

oooOOOooo

Hermione entered the Three Broomsticks and made her way to the back table where Flitwick sat. Her eyes briefly went to the table of five students, but she chose not to acknowledge them. Severus sat at the table, Polyjuiced as Tad Willard. Hagrid sat to his left, disguised as a thin 7th year. Hooch, Pomfrey, and Sprout all had been transformed into seventeen-year-olds as well. It was odd to see his colleagues transformed so. They’d had to do some finagling with the students whose likenesses they were mirroring. The elite group would get a special day in Hogsmeade all to themselves the following Saturday. As for now, the professors were on the watch. They scanned the pub, looking for anything amiss. Nothing seemed to be out of order. They made small talk as the time passed. The plan was to spend some time here, then go window shopping while Hermione wandered around the town, hoping to be attacked.

Severus studied Hermione. She smiled as she chatted with Filius. His chest tightened. Despite being prepared, he knew that something could go wrong. She could get hurt. So could any one of them. He hoped all would go smoothly, but he knew that things usually didn’t. He was on edge and worked to calm his nerves. It would do him no good to be distracted in any way.

His colleagues eyed each other, and the group rose en-masse and headed out of the pub. Hermione and Filius soon followed. The students had dispersed into pairs with Severus hanging alone. He had settled on a nearby bench and pulled out a book to read. Filius headed into the candy shop, and Hermione began looking into the window of the cauldron shop. Severus decided to put his book away and approach her. He rose from his bench and ambled over to her with his hands in the pocket of his student robes.

“Anything?” he said softly.

Hermione looked over to him and tried to hide her smirk. “Sorry, it’s just odd having your voice coming out of Mr. Willard’s body.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Try to concentrate, Granger,” he said.

She turned to him and folded her arms in front of her. “How does it feel to be seventeen again?”

“I’m not seventeen again. I’m just in the body of a seventeen-year-old.”

Hermione looked at him sagely. “Is there a difference?” she asked coyly.

Severus guffawed. “I have control,” he answered.

Hermione laughed. “I would expect no less from you. Seriously, though, would you ever want to go back to seventeen?”

“Merlin, no,” Severus said with a frown. “I am happy to have left my youth, with its follies, behind me.”

“You mean you wouldn’t be even a little bit curious?”

“I’m perfectly happy being an old man,” he said crustily.

“Oh, Severus, you’re hardly old!”

He rolled his eyes. “Hermione, I am ancient.”

She slapped his arm. “Stop that! You’re not old at all. In fact, you’re in your prime.”

“Come now, don’t tell me you’d rather be around me as an old man instead of in this young virile body.”

Hermione furrowed her brow. “I…”

Severus held his breath, wondering what she’d say.

Hermione turned back to the window she’d been examining. “I prefer you as your true self, Severus,” she said softly.

He’d not had time to react to her admittance as at that moment two pops of Apparition occurred and their quarry stood in front of them, dressed in long black robes with full silver face masks, their wands brandished.

“Give up, Mudblood!” one of them snarled. Severus recognized his voice as Yaxley’s.

Hermione moved in front of Severus, seemingly protecting a student. He pulled his wand out and shielded them as the hexes began to fly. The other faculty members rushed over while Severus and Hermione shot spells and deflected others. Realizing they’d been ambushed, the two attackers moved back to back and started throwing spells at all the teachers. Flitwick was hit and fell to the ground, shaking his head to clear it.

The shorter, heavier attacker rounded on Severus and Hermione, sending curse after curse at them. They were able to fend off most of them, but one hit Severus before he had a chance to deflect it. He was surprised that he didn’t feel anything and wasn’t incapacitated in any way. Severus sent a stunner right at the chest of his attacker, who fell to the ground. Within a few moments, the other teachers had wrangled Yaxley with an Incarcerous spell, and he also lay on the ground.

Severus went over and tore the mask off the second attacker. All of the faculty gasped as Dolores Umbridge was revealed.

“I thought she was in Azkaban,” Hooch exclaimed.

Severus pointed his wand into her cheek. “How did you get out of Azkaban?” he demanded.

“Snape!” She cried in surprise as she recognized his voice but then smiled. “You’ve gotten what you deserve!”

He looked at her curiously. Suddenly pain flared in his side where the curse had caught him. He cried out and fell to his knees. His hand went to his side, coming away covered in blood. He looked at it, then up at Hermione and passed out. Pomfrey hurried over to him and started waving her wand over him.

Hermione went over to Umbridge and pointed her wand at her. “Tell me what that spell was, you daft cow!”

“He’ll be dead in an hour.”

“What was it?” Hermione cried.

Umbridge laughed. “You’ll never know.”

Yaxley decided to speak then. “We may not have gotten you, Mudblood, but we got the traitor!” he said triumphantly.

Hermione looked nervously between the two of them, trying to decide which was the weaker. She decided it was probably Umbridge. Pointing her wand at her she cried “Legilimens!”

She grimaced as images bombarded her senses. Finally, she broke the connection and turned to Severus, who was surrounded by the faculty. Poppy was chanting and waving her wand furiously.

“Hermione, did you find anything? I can’t stop the spread of this spell. It’s slicing him in two!”

Hermione pointed her wand at him and chanted, “Detenga hechizo.” An orange light shot from her wand into Severus’ body.

Umbridge screamed, “No! He deserves to die!”

Hermione turned back to Umbridge and flicked her wand at her. “Langlock,” she said, and Umbridge was silenced.

Poppy furiously continued waving her wand and chanting spells. After a few minutes, she put her wand down and looked up at everyone who had surrounded them.

“He’s stable for the moment. I can’t do anything else unless I get him to the Infirmary. I should be able to Apparate straight there with him because he’s the Headmaster, right?”

Sprout nodded, her youthful curls bobbing up and down. They all helped Severus’ unconscious form rise from the ground and had him floating alongside Poppy.

Flitwick steadied Severus’ body. “I’ll come along to help you when you’re there to settle him into a bed and make sure he doesn’t fall. Just put your arm around both of us.”

Poppy made as if to hug Severus and Filius. She turned and with a pop they were gone. Hooch looked after them. “I hope that worked,” she said.

“I should be with him,” Hermione said, half frantic with worry.

Pomona put her hand on Hermione’s shoulder. “Go ahead. I sent my Patronus to the Aurors. They should be arriving shortly. We’ll take care of this.”

Hermione nodded. “Tell them where I am if they want to get a statement,” she said before she also turned and disappeared.

A few minutes later she burst through the doors of the Infirmary. “How is he?” she asked with worry tinging her voice.

Poppy was pouring some Dittany over the large gash in his side. “You canceled the spell just in time, Hermione. A few minutes more and I wouldn’t have been able to save him.”

The Polyjuice was wearing off, and Severus’ midnight black hair was starting to seep through the brown of Tad Willard’s. Poppy too was transforming, so she stepped back and let the process finish before she began to work on healing him again. Severus’ body had extended, and the trousers he was wearing no longer fit him well, his lower legs sticking out of the bottom. His shirt had been removed already, and Hermione touched his chest gently. “What can I do?” she asked as a tear fell down her face.

“There are some Phoenix tears over in the cabinet. Bring them here.”

In a flash, Hermione had raced over to the cabinet, found the precious tears, and run back to Poppy, who carefully let a few drops fall onto Severus’ wound. It had closed somewhat with the application of Dittany, but now the Phoenix tears sizzled, and the two witches watched as the wound mended. Severus groaned.

“He’s coming around. Grab a pain potion from the cabinet, Hermione,” Poppy directed.

Without taking a step, Hermione handed the potion to Poppy. “I saw it and figured you’d need it,” she explained.

Poppy smiled at her. Severus opened his eyes and groaned again. His entire body was screaming at him.

“What happened,” he said weakly.

“Take this potion, it will help with the pain,” Poppy demanded.

Severus lifted his head slightly and took the potion. He placed his head back on the pillow, closed his eyes and let the potion work. Poppy nodded to them both and went to her office to give them some privacy.

Once most of the pain had subsided, Severus looked to Hermione again. “What happened?”

Hermione caressed his cheek. “You almost died! Don’t you ever do that to me again!” she cried.

Severus closed his eyes and enjoyed her soft touch. His heart swelled with affection for her.

“How?” he asked finally. “I was only hit with that one spell, and it didn’t do anything.”

“Umbridge created it to be something that got worse over time. It was destroying your body, ripping it apart.”

Severus closed his eyes. “I haven’t felt anything that horrible since the Dark Lord was around. How did that nutter get out?”

“Yaxley Polyjuiced himself and brought an Imperiused woman to visit her in Azkaban. He used Polyjuice on them both to make the switch. The woman hid whenever someone brought her food so they couldn’t tell it wasn’t Umbridge. She’s still doing it.”

“Umbridge and Yaxley told you all of that?” he asked incredulously.

“I used Legilimency on Umbridge.”

Severus looked surprised. “I had no idea you were so adept at the craft.”

“Master Spellworthy was a natural Legilimens and a gifted Occlumens. When he found out my interest, he was eager to teach me.”

“Your talents are endless, Hermione,” Severus told her.

She beamed at him. Placing her hand on his, she squeezed it lightly. “You should get some rest,” she told him.

Severus had an insatiable desire to pull her to him and kiss her. He knew that would be a foolish choice, but he was a fool when it came to her. His hand moved over hers, and he squeezed it back. “I’m definitely not my best.”

“I’ll come back later this afternoon.” She pointed her finger at him. “You’d better still be in this bed when I return. I don’t want you hurting yourself trying to be all brave and returning to your quarters.”

He smirked at her. “Madam, you know me too well.”

She smiled back, pulled her hand out from his, gave him a pat, and left him to himself. With her departure, he let the pain that still remained overwhelm him as he grimaced. Falling victim to the exhaustion of the last little while, he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks to brenamarie for her beta work. I hope you're all enjoying this. Thanks to those who have left reviews. <3

Chapter 8

Severus healed quickly and soon everyone was back into the swing of school. Severus found his internal struggle about Hermione Granger only intensified as time went on. Their friendship had solidified, and they spent a great deal of time together. He found her more and more captivating, but despite her warmth toward him, he knew in his heart she couldn’t care for him as more than a friend. His eyes wandered over to her. They sat at the head table, eating lunch. She had her nose in an article out of the latest Transfiguration magazine. Severus took the opportunity to drink in her loveliness. He rolled his eyes. He was being pathetically sappy.

As if she felt his eyes on her, Hermione looked up and gave him a curious look. He cleared his throat nervously.

“You seem very engrossed in that article.”

She smiled and nodded. “They’ve come up with a way to transfigure items into medications.”

“Fascinating.”

“Oh, it is,” she gushed.

Severus listened to her go on about the new find and smiled to himself. Her eyes sparkled as she got excited. He found her endearing. He wanted to run his hands through her curls and nibble at her neck. He wanted to…

“Severus?” Hermione said while giving him a puzzled look.

Severus froze. He’d gotten caught ogling. Severus Snape didn’t ogle. He didn’t look at women because he was in love with Lily Evans. But he wasn’t anymore, was he? And if he were to admit it to himself, Lily had been right. Hermione made him forget all about Lily in that regard. He enjoyed ogling Hermione and didn’t ever want to stop. He wanted her in his life as more than just a friend. There must be a way to get closer to her so she could maybe start feeling the same way that he did.

“Severus?” she asked again.

“I… I’m sorry,” he said with embarrassment. “I know I was far away, but it had nothing to do with the subject matter. It’s just that your descriptions made me realize something.”

“Oh?” Hermione said with interest. “What did you realize?”

The truth was he’d realized he loved her, but instead he said, “I have been working on developing a potion. I think your explanation gave me an idea as to how my potion can be successful,” he lied.

“Really? What is it you’re working on?” Hermione asked.

And just like that she’d forgotten about herself and had turned her attention to him. He marveled at her and her ability to do that. Had anyone ever done that for him? Never. It always had been about what was in it for them. She wasn’t like that, though. She forgot herself in others. He wanted her to always do that with him. He turned so he was facing her and rested his arm on the high back of his chair.

“Would you help me with the potion?” he asked carefully.

“Of course, Severus. If you think I can help, I’d love to do so.”

He smiled at her. Really smiled. She blushed, and he remembered the day she turned so red when he was in the hospital. She was beguiling.

“Come to my office after dinner. We’ll start then.”

She giggled a little. “All right,” she said, looking at him curiously.

He rose then, gave Hermione a slight nod and exited the Great Hall. After exiting, he walked a few paces, then leaned with his back against the wall. What had he done? His hands came up and rubbed his face. Why, when he knew she wasn’t interested in him in that way, was he inviting her to his lab to work on a potion? He was daft. He closed his eyes as his head fell back against the wall.

“Your potion will not make her love you, you dolt,” he said to himself. “No matter how well it works, it won’t give her feelings she doesn’t have.”

He huffed as he looked to the ceiling. He studied the intricate patterns in the design before he sighed heavily. Fool or not, his hopes were set. He would have her test the potion, and in his heart, he would hide his hope that it would reveal something he thought impossible to be.

oooOOOooo

Severus heard the knock on the door and bellowed for Hermione to enter. “I’m in the back, past the bedroom,” he boomed loudly enough for her to hear him in his living room. He heard her footsteps coming but didn’t raise his head from the potion he was stirring. He counted precisely as Hermione came into the room and moved to his side. Changing direction, he stirred more as Hermione waited patiently. He appreciated her knowing when to speak and when to be silent. The woman had truly changed so much since she was a student, always wanting attention and praise. Now, she had a quiet dignity about her. She felt comfortable in her skin. He finished the stirring and pulled the rod out of the cauldron, setting it on the table beside it. He looked up at her and smirked. “Hermione,” he said simply.

“So, are you going to tell me what it is we’re working on?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “This needs to sit for thirty minutes, which should give us enough time for me to explain everything.”

He motioned her out of the lab and out into the living room. He noticed she briefly perused his bedroom as they moved through.

“Dippy,” Severus said. Once the house-elf appeared, he continued. “Tea, please.”

He moved into the living room and motioned for Hermione to take a seat on the couch. He sat in the chair opposite hers.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked her with an arched eyebrow.

She sputtered. “I would think you would know the answer to that, Severus Snape!” she retorted haughtily.

“Humor me,” he responded calmly.

Hermione huffed. “Yes, of course, I can keep a secret.”

Severus gave a quick nod. He looked to the floor. “I occasionally create potions for George Weasley’s joke shop.”

Hermione’s mouth dropped open. “You what?”

He gave a sideways grin. “Ironic, isn’t it? The very shop I must decry as the Headmaster is, in fact, one of my employers.”

She shook her head. “I can’t believe it, Severus. How did you get involved with George?”

Severus sat back on the couch. “About three years ago George asked for a meeting with me. He explained that he wanted to have some more dignified potions in the shop. I supply the daydream potion and the food in a bottle potion.”

Hermione moved to the edge of her seat and pointed at Severus. “I knew it! I knew George couldn’t do something as challenging as make that food in a bottle potion. You’re amazing, Severus! I’m not sure I’d label it as dignified, though,” she said with a grin.

He fought off the embarrassment he felt, hoping Hermione couldn’t tell. “Well, maybe more technically challenging would be a better way of putting it. Anyway, George asked me to create something a little more sophisticated than a love potion. The potion in the other room is an anti-inhibition potion. It loosens the tongue and gives the imbiber the courage to say things they normally wouldn’t say.”

Hermione raised her eyebrow. “How uninhibited will the person be?” she asked.

“They will always be in control.” His eyebrows knit together. “I compare it to Felix Felices. It opens the mind to possibilities if the person will let themselves go, for lack of a better description.”

“Severus, this potion has uses outside of the joke shop,” she said seriously.

“I agree,” Severus said as he rose and began to pace. “I’m tinkering with different strengths. I believe that a more powerful form of this one can be sold to the Ministry as an alternative to Veritaserum.”

Hermione nodded her head, deep in thought. “It also might be used for those undercover, giving them the confidence to pull off personalities that are very different from their own.”

“Yes, with the right strength, that would be possible as well. As you have already guessed, it can be much more than just a simple Calming Draught.”

She looked into his eyes. “How do you want me to help?”

“Well, I can use help with ingredient preparation, but I really need you to be my guinea pig.” His eyes met hers. “I need someone to test the potion. I cannot do it myself.”

Hermione blanched. “Severus, I can’t,” she retorted.

“Why not?” he asked as he looked at her curiously.

She got up and started to pace. “I… I just… can’t,” she stammered.

“Well, that’s not a reason,” he replied testily.

He went up to her and stopped her, surrounding her in a gentle grasp. She seemed nervous, and his terseness turned to concern.

“What is it?” he asked while looking into her eyes.

“I…” she searched his face. “What will happen when I test it?”

Severus shrugged. “You’ll feel more open to expressing yourself.”

“Will I be able to control it?”

His eyes met hers. “Of course.”

“Okay,” she said finally after a long silence. “I’ll test it.”

“You may find that you won’t want to control it, though, Hermione.”

She smiled nervously. “Maybe,” she mused. “When will it be ready?”

“Two minutes,” he said as he looked at her intensely.

“Well,” she said, her voice rising an octave. “I guess we’ll know soon enough,” she said as she turned from him and rushed back into his lab.

He watched her go, a curious look on his face. Why was she so afraid to try the potion? What could be so awful that she didn’t want anyone to see? He shook his head and followed her back into the lab. He supposed he’d know soon enough. Walking up behind her as she stared into the cauldron, he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Are you ready?” he asked gently.

She nodded.

Moving around her he stirred the potion once and removed it from the fire. Taking a flask, he decanted a small portion of the deep blue liquid into it. Turning he handed it to her.

She looked at it as if it were poison. His eyebrow rose at her, and she tittered nervously.

“Well, there’s no time like the present,” she mused with a shake in her voice. The flask was brought to her lips and she downed it in one swig. She clacked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. “Surprisingly orangey for such a blue concoction.”

She gave him a scared look. “When should I feel the effects?”

Severus’ shoulders sagged. “It should have been immediate.” Looking back to his cauldron he sighed. “I guess I’ll have to work on the formula some more.”

Hermione brightened considerably. “Well, that’s all right, Severus.” She said warmly. “It usually takes a few tries to get a potion right, doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” Severus mused. He found Hermione’s hand on his shoulder, squeezing it comfortingly.

“I know you’ll get it, Severus. You’re the most brilliant man I know.” She cleared her throat. “I’d better get going. I’ve got a bit of grading to do.”

Severus looked at her. She was smiling now, all her past jitters having disappeared. He gave her a slight nod as she turned, waving to him lightly and blowing him a kiss. She quickly left his lab. He watched her and puzzled over her actions. He honestly didn’t know what to make of them. Not finding any answers, he turned back to the potion and began to try and work out why it hadn’t succeeded.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get a little warmer. Thanks, brenamarie, for the beta work.

Chapter 9

Severus scowled as he looked at Hermione. Four weeks of trials, all failures, this one the most spectacular. Hermione stood before him covered in green pustules.

“Maybe it’s an allergic reaction?” she asked with a shrug.

Severus huffed. “I haven’t changed anything in the recipe, only the amounts and ways of brewing. This…” he motioned up and down with his hand. “is because I’ve failed.”

Hermione closed the distance between them. “It’s a setback. You’ll get it right,” she said.

Severus threw up his hands and turned. His lips thinned and he sneered.

“We should head down to the infirmary to get you sorted.”

He pushed Hermione ahead of him and followed her out of the lab and his rooms. They both entered the corridor.

“It should be a simple potion. I should have had the right mixture by now.”

Hermione stopped and turned to him. “Look, give yourself a break. You’re developing something new. That takes time and experimentation.” She got close to his face. “You know that,” she said with a raised eyebrow.

“You know, I’d take you more seriously if you weren’t covered in green marks.”

She tried to look angry, but she wound up giggling. Grabbing his robes, she pulled him closer. “You’re very lucky these are painless, Severus Snape.”

Severus’ heart leapt into his throat. She was so close, just a quick lean in and his lips would be on hers. His hands reached out, and he closed the distance. His lips touched hers, tasting heaven. She fell into him, moaning softly, which caused him to moan as well. His tongue begged entrance, and she opened readily; their tongues tangling with each other. He felt complete with her in his arms. He reached up and…

“Severus?”

He snapped out of his daydream and looked at the real Hermione standing in front of him. She looked very concerned.

“I’m sorry,” he snapped. “I was thinking… about the potion.”

She took his arm and led him along the hallway. “I was asking you if you were getting a good laugh at seeing me looking so hideous,” she explained.

“You never look hideous, you’re beautiful,” he said while moving down the hallway. He froze, realizing what he’d said. “I mean…”

“Don’t you dare take that back, Severus Snape! That’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever said to me!”

Severus began to move again, a small smirk on his face. “Come on, let’s restore you to your normal beauty.”

Hermione laughed and squeezed his arm as they got to the Infirmary doors and entered.

oooOOOooo

Two more weeks had passed with no success in the potion. Hermione sat across from Severus at the desk, reviewing a paper. She placed her quill tip on each item on the list as she discussed them with Severus. “We’ve increased the aconite, ginger root, and Jobberknoll feathers and haven’t seen any improvement except in the taste.”

Severus rose and came to her side of the table. He leaned over her and reviewed the list of ingredients for a while. “We should increase the Moonstone,” he said finally as he straightened up and returned to his side of the desk. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before,” he mused with a faraway look.

Hermione nodded as she kept reviewing the ingredient list. “I think you’re right. It will even out the feelings associated when the potion goes into effect.”

“It should stabilize the other ingredients and help the subject calm.”

“Do you have any Moonstone in your storage room?”

Severus rose and proceeded to the lab. He entered the large room attached and eyed his stores. His gaze caught the bottle he was searching for almost immediately. He took it from the shelf and meandered back to Hermione.

“Looks like I’m out,” he advised as he showed her the empty bottle.

“Severus, that surprises me. I thought you always had everything you needed for any situation.”

“Hermione, that would involve a storage room the size of the Great Hall.” He looked down at the empty jar. “I supposed we’ll need to go buy some.”

“We? Can I come too?”

He smirked at her. “Of course,” he said simply as he placed the jar on his desk. “We are working on this together, are we not? Besides, it will give us time to get a meal.”

Hermione stood, and they moved out of his office. She chatted amiably as they moved out of the castle, down the path, and out onto the road that led to Hogsmeade. Severus enjoyed her discussion of her first-years and their attempts to change a cat into a cauldron. Their walking along chatting about work seemed so natural and right. Hermione by his side in everything he did seemed so right too.

Glancing at her, he took in her features. She took his breath away. His heart ached to tell her how he felt, but he dared not risk ending this. This is what he wanted, someone who was always there, a confidante, someone he trusted implicitly. For him, trust was hard to find. So much had happened in his life to make him distrustful of everyone. But the witch by his side was different. He looked at her curly hair, which was frizzing in the wind. Hermione brushed it back out of her eyes and continued talking about the first-years.

She was loyal to those she cared about. There wasn’t a bone in her body that was cruel. She fought for her friends… stood up for them.

He stopped in the road, unable to go on. He looked at her and saw his future.

“Hermione, do you have any feelings for me?” he asked hesitantly.

“Severus, I love you,” she said, coming close to him and pulling him into a sultry kiss. After pulling back, she looked him in the eye. “I will be yours forever.”

Hermione shook him, a look of concern on her face. Severus gasped and looked into her eyes. Another daydream. Were all his most special moments only to have happened in his head?

“You just stopped in the road,” Hermione said. “Is something wrong?”

Severus looked to the ground, his brows furrowing. “No,” he ground out. “I didn’t mean to startle you. Let’s just keep going.” He straightened and stalked down the roadway once again. Hermione rushed to catch up.

“Aren’t you going to tell me what happened back there?” she demanded.

“It was nothing. Just some random wool-gathering. I apologize.”

Her hand moved to his arm, and she squeezed it. “You’re all right, then?” she asked, worry filling her voice.

He smiled wanly at her. “I’m fine.”

Squeezing his arm one more time before releasing it, she said, “Good. You’ve been awfully quiet this trip.”

He shrugged. “My mind hasn’t been quiet. I can’t seem to get it to shut up.”

Hermione laughed. “Well, I’m sure whatever is going through your mind, it’s fascinating.”

“You think so?”

“Oh, yes. Everything you do is fascinating.” She blushed and looked to the ground.

Severus arched an eyebrow. “I see,” he said simply, not really knowing how to follow up her comment.

They’d finally arrived in town, and Severus pointed over to the Three Broomsticks. “Some lunch?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. I’m starving.” She increased her pace, leaving Severus behind her. Smiling at her eagerness, he hurried along after her.

A few minutes later they were settled into a table in the corner with Butterbeers in front of them.

Hermione looked to Severus. “Severus, do you like being Headmaster?”

Severus thought about it for a minute. “I do,” he said finally. “I guess the real question is do you like me being Headmaster?”

She giggled. “I do,” she said with a grin.

“Very diplomatic answer to your boss,” he mused.

“Oh, Severus, you’re much more than just a boss; you’re my friend. You already know that!”

His smile was shy, turned up a little on one side. “Yes, I’m as surprised as you are,” he quipped.

“But…” Hermione countered, “even if we weren’t friends, you are a wonderful Headmaster.”

Their meals arrived at that moment, and Hermione smiled as the waitress placed her roast beef sandwich and his burger in front of them. Severus popped a chip into his mouth before responding to Hermione. He chewed thoughtfully while looking at her as she took a bite of her sandwich.

‘I appreciate your sentiment,” he said. “I have worked hard to overcome that year after Dumbledore’s death.”

Hermione reached out and laid her hand on his. “I can’t imagine how that must have been for you.”

“If I were to be truthful, it was a nightmare. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. By the end, I was eager to be done with it. I welcomed death.”

Hermione gasped. “No, Severus, don’t say that!”

“Hermione, that’s how I felt. I couldn’t protect the students, everyone looked at me with revulsion, I was miserable. I felt I deserved death.”

Hermione became very quiet. She pulled her hand away from his and looked to her plate. “Do you still wish you had died?” she asked in a small voice.

Severus was silent, waiting for her to make eye contact with him again. When she did, he continued. “I thank Merlin every day that I survived,” he said intensely. “I have been able to be the Headmaster I had hoped to be in that year, but couldn’t be. I am free to do what I wish; I answer to no one.”

“It amazes me all that you did during the war, Severus. I can’t imagine how difficult it was. You deserve every minute of your freedom now.”

He smiled at her. Yes, the freedom was satisfying. He wouldn’t mind giving up some of that freedom if the right person was there with him, though. He cleared his throat. “These last five years have been a learning experience. At first, it was very difficult for me to be anything but what I had been for the previous twenty years.”

He looked uncomfortable, so Hermione nodded for him to go on.

“I never told anybody about this,” he said and hesitated again. Hermione’s hand reached out to his once more, and she squeezed it. “I had… an epiphany while I was in the coma after the war.” He looked to Hermione’s hand and turned his hand up so he was holding hers. “I found myself in a state of consciousness. I can’t really explain it, but I realized I was free, and that the persona I had created had served me well for the war. Merlin, I had to be that way, or I’d have been found out in an instant. But I knew that hadn’t been me. With the Dark Lord dead, I could leave all that behind and start new. I awoke from the coma wanting to change.”

He grimaced to himself and looked into Hermione’s eyes. “The thing was, I had been that other me for so long, I couldn’t remember what I was like before. I obviously had some time to think while I recuperated. After mulling it over, I realized I had no idea what a decent man acted like because I’d never been one.”

He sighed heavily. “It took a lot of time and determination. I had to constantly tell myself not to be an arse. I paused before every sentence sometimes so I wouldn’t say something hateful. After what seemed like an eternity, things finally started to become more natural. I obviously am not perfect, but I feel like I’ve mellowed some.”

Severus realized he was still holding Hermione’s hand. He slipped his from hers and placed it into his lap. She looked to her hand now resting on the table and pulled it back.

“You’ve really done a marvelous job, Severus,” Hermione said. “I mean, you were fine before.”

Severus snorted.

“I would never try to tell you how to act or be,” Hermione explained. “I just think you seem happier now. The students, dare I say it, care for you.”

Severus felt himself blush. “Let’s not go overboard, Hermione. That will never happen, and you know it.”

Hermione chuckled. “You are so wrong! Just the other day a couple of Gryffindors were saying how great you were.”

Severus gave her a leveling look. “You have never been a good liar, Granger.”

She laughed lightly. “I’m not lying! It was Hornsby and Whitacre. Maybe they didn’t exactly use the word ‘great’, but they were talking to their friends and saying nice things about you.”

“That is a far cry from singing my praises and, heaven forbid, caring for me.”

“Severus,” Hermione said in exasperation. “You are doing a wonderful job. You should be proud of what you’ve done, and how the students feel about you.”

“I am. I just think you’re making more of it than is true.”

Hermione huffed. He knew she’d given in. Her insistence that he was liked humored him. He didn’t think any of it was true, but she did. She seemed to feel more than respect for him. He wondered at that.

He leveled an intense gaze at her. “Thank you,” he said simply.

She smiled at him brightly. “I still think you’re making too little of your accomplishments.”

“We’ll have to agree to disagree, then.” Deciding to change the subject, he continued. “Are you happy the winter holidays are starting next week?”

“Yes and no. I’m thrilled the term is over, but it all seems to be going by so fast.”

Severus nodded. “Most years do that. I think it has something to do with time passing.”

She threw her napkin at him. “You’re awful.”

He tilted his head slightly in acknowledgment. “Guilty as charged. I told you I didn’t change too much.”

Hermione scoffed and stood from the table. “Come on, you. We have some Moonstone to buy.”

Severus rose and walked over to the bar. “Please put this on my tab, Rosemerta,” he said congenially.

“Oh, I can take care of myself, Severus,” Hermione countered.

Severus looked to her with an arched eyebrow and then turned back to Rosmerta. “On my tab, please, Rosmerta.”

The woman behind the bar nodded at him and went back to the glasses she was organizing. Hermione and Severus walked out of the bar and started walking down the road.

“I could have paid for myself, Severus,” Hermione said with a huff.

“I don’t doubt that, Hermione. I do pay your salary. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it. “Thank you,” she said finally.

They made their way to the potions shop and soon were headed back to Hogwarts with the Moonstone. Severus looked at Hermione. “What are your plans for the holidays, Hermione? Are you going to be spending it with your parents?”

“I’m actually going to be here most of the time.”

Severus frowned at her. “Why ever would you want to do that?”

She blushed. “I just want to have a quiet holiday. I’ll head to my parents on Christmas and plan to go to the Weasleys for New Years, but really, my parents are busy with their own lives and don’t really have a lot of time for me, and I feel like a third wheel when I’m at the Weasleys.”

“You’re not serious?” Severus said with a small chuckle.

Hermione looked to Severus. “Yes, I am. Everyone is paired off with someone. The main topic of conversation half the time is why I’m not dating anyone. It gets old after a while.”

“So, why aren’t you dating anyone?” Severus asked with a slight smirk.

She pointed at him. “Don’t you start!” she cried. “You’re the only one I can talk to who doesn’t drill me on my love life. I prefer to keep it that way.”

“Maybe it’s because I want to be the man in your life,” he said with a smirk. In a flash, he’d closed the distance between them and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. Hermione reached behind him and wound her hand in his hair, pulling him closer and intensifying the kiss. They stayed like that for a while before Severus pulled back and said, “Maybe you should bring me as your date for Christmas.”

“What did you say, Severus?”

Severus cleared his head and looked at Hermione, who was gazing at him quizzically. He really needed to stop having these hallucinations about kissing Hermione. He shook the cobwebs out of his head and looked back at her.

“I said you should join me for Christmas eve,” he said rapidly, his cheeks turning slightly red.

She smiled widely at him. “I would love to!” she exclaimed.

He gave her his patented shy half-smile. “Come by around three. We’ll spend the afternoon together, ok?”

She nodded happily.


	10. Chapter 10

The week had passed quickly, and Severus was nervous. Hermione would be arriving soon, and he couldn’t help but feel that this simple dinner was more like a date. He fingered the gift he’d found for her. The small oblong box was gaily wrapped in shiny green paper with silver bells. They tinkled lightly, but not so loudly as to be annoying. He hoped she’d like the necklace that lay within.

He set it under the small tree he had conjured. It too was adorned with green and silver decorations. He smirked at the Slytherinliness of it all. A knock at the door interrupted his musings. He turned and made his way to the door, opening it to see Hermione standing there in a beautiful green dress. He arched his eyebrow at her.

“What?” she asked. “Green is a Christmas color.”

Smirking at her, he moved aside so she could enter the room.

“Besides, I wanted to match with the tree,” she said cheekily.

He came up to her and ran his fingers through her curls. Leaning forward he kissed her lips tenderly. She sighed into him as he deepened the kiss. Pulling her closer to him, he attempted to take her into himself.

“Happy Christmas, Severus!” she said from across the room by the tree.

He frowned. He really was losing it. He needed to stop fantasizing about Hermione Granger, or the evening would be a nightmare. Mentally giving himself a shake, he looked back to Hermione and smirked at her.

“Happy Christmas,” he said finally. As he moved next to her, he noticed that there were now red Christmas balls along with the green and silver on the Christmas tree. He regarded Hermione shrewdly.

“What did you do?” he ground out, trying to hide the mirth in his tone.

“Me? What do you mean? I was just admiring your tree.”

“Yes, of course, and the excessive Gryffindor decorations had nothing to do with you?”

“Don’t be silly, Severus, the decorations are definitely not excessive. Actually, it could use a little more.” She flicked her wand and red garland surrounded the tree.

“Watch it, witch. I’m not the type to be filled with Christmas cheer,” Severus ground out.

“Oh, I’m so scared!” she retorted.

He arched an eyebrow at her. “I see my years of trying to frighten the daylights out of you as a student have all gone to waste.”

Hermione laughed. “I grew up, Severus! Now that I know you, you’re hardly scary at all.”

“Damn,” he said ruefully. “I guess I can take solace in the fact that you said hardly scary.”

She slapped at his arm. “You’re not scary at all.”

He sighed. “I guess I brought this on myself with all that biting back of caustic comments. What’s an evil Slytherin to do?” Both his eyebrows rose this time.

Hermione chuckled and turned back to the tree. She noticed the present lying under it. “Is this for me?” she asked excitedly.

“Hmmm, yes, it is. It depends on if you behave yourself or not as to whether you get it tonight or will need to wait until tomorrow.”

Hermione looked to him and pouted. “I’ll be good, I promise.” She reached into her pocket and placed a small package wrapped in black paper with a black satin bow on it next to her present. “I’m just going to advise you that if I can’t open mine tonight, you can’t open yours either.”

He had the urge to pull her into a hug. Thankfully, he controlled himself and kept his arms by his side. He was also proud of the fact that he didn’t fall into another fantasy kiss with her. Rolling his eyes, he turned toward the back of the room.

“Are you hungry?” he asked her.

“Starved! It feels like I haven’t eaten all day,” Hermione admitted.

He stepped aside so Hermione could pass into the dining area.

“Dippy,” he called.

The house-elf appeared and curtsied to Severus.

“You may serve dinner,” he advised as he walked over to the closest chair and held it out for Hermione.

“Thank you,” she said as she settled herself in.

By the time Severus had rounded the table and settled himself, the dinner had appeared in front of them. Their plates were filled with turkey, stuffing, carrots, and parsnips. They tucked in, enjoying the feast, eating silently for a little while. After a bit, Severus had eaten enough to feel satisfied. He put his knife and fork down and sat back in his chair.

“The House-elves outdid themselves once again. It’s surprising I haven’t gained a stone living here year-round,” he said.

“I know. I have really tried to not stuff myself so I don’t get fat,” Hermione admitted.

“You really have nothing to worry about in that regard,” Severus mused.

She blushed prettily, and he once again wished they were more than friends. Although he was enjoying himself immensely, this night was simply torture.

At that moment their plates disappeared, and two pieces of cheesecake appeared in front of them.

“Yum!” Hermione exclaimed as she sunk her fork into the cheesecake. “Mmm, did you know this was my favorite?” she asked Severus, looking at him slyly.

“Every time it’s offered, you have at least two pieces,” he said simply.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Spy,” she said.

“Indeed,” he agreed.

Soon their dessert was done, and they had made their way over to the sofa. Two cups of tea appeared on the coffee table. Severus reached out for them, handing one to Hermione. She sat back and stirred her tea before taking a sip. Severus sipped his as well before clearing his throat.

“Did the students enjoy their dinner earlier?” Hermione asked.

“They seemed to have a good time. They all ate like they’d never seen food before,” Severus mused.

Hermione laughed. “It must have been hard having two dinners, Severus.”

“I only had a piece of pie with them.”

“I see. Getting a double dose of sweets for Christmas eve, hmm?”

“Of course! It’s Christmas, so why not. Now since you have been on your best behavior, I think it’s time to give you your present,” he stated.

Hermione smiled brightly, and his heart almost stopped. Pushing his sappy feelings aside, he summoned her present and handed it to her. She ripped into it, removing the tinkling wrapping paper. She glanced at Severus before opening the box. She gasped as she looked into it. Lifting the necklace from the box, she admired it with a smile. Attached to a thick silver chain hung a green hummingbird with a slight touch of pink on its chest. Its wings were spread in flight.

“Severus, this is beautiful. Thank you,” she said as she examined the necklace closer. “Would you help me put it on?” she asked.

Severus rose and took the necklace from Hermione, unclasping it and moving behind her to place it around her neck. “I saw this and immediately thought of you,” he said.

“Really, why?” Hermione asked curiously.

“You’re a free spirit, brilliant, and fiercely protective,” he explained softly. He finished securing the necklace and softly kissed her neck. She arched her neck so he could kiss it more. His hands rested on her shoulders as he nibbled sweet kisses along her neckline, resting his head and nuzzling his nose at her neck finally.

“You really see me like that?” she said.

He came back to himself and saw that she had turned around and was looking at him with tears in her eyes. He straightened and pushed his fantasy from his mind.

“Yes, of course, I do. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She shook her head vehemently. “No, you didn’t.” She looked down at her lap. “I just didn’t think you thought that way about me.”

“Hermione, anyone who knows you can see those traits in you.”

She looked up at him then. “Most people think I’m… well… a know-it-all, as you so aptly put it all those years ago.”

Severus frowned. “I’m sorry I ever called you that. It was cruel and uncalled for.”

“Severus, we’ve already talked about that. But really, so many people think I’m just all brains and nothing more. Thank you for seeing more than that in me.”

Severus threw caution to the wind and reached down and took her hand. He slowly brought it to his lips and placed a chaste kiss upon it. “I see many things in you, Hermione Granger,” he murmured.

Their eyes locked, and it felt like they were frozen in time. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss her, but he had no idea what that would result in. He never wanted to risk losing this closeness with her. Breaking the moment, he straightened and cleared his throat.

“I’m glad you like your gift.”

Hermione looked away nervously and also cleared her throat. Severus made his way around the couch and settled back into it, resting against it and folding his arms. He glanced at Hermione, who was still looking away. He’d embarrassed her. He should have just kept his feelings to himself. Scowling, he looked to the floor. So engrossed in his self-loathing, he didn’t hear Hermione summon his gift, so he startled when she held it out to him.

“Happy Christmas, Severus,” she said as she held out the box.

“Nice wrapping paper,” he mused as he eyed the black paper.

“I thought it suited,” she explained.

He smirked at her. The awkwardness fell away from them as he took the gift and unwrapped it. Lifting the box top, he saw a small vial with purple liquid in it. He pulled it out of the box and looked at Hermione.

“You do realize I am a Potions master?”

Hermione giggled. “It’s a wish potion. You make a wish, take the potion, and you’ll have a fantasy vision about it.”

“I think I’ve had enough fantasies for one day,” he muttered.

“I beg your pardon?”

Severus’ eyes snapped up to hers. “Nothing. Where did you get this?” he asked, slightly skeptical of it.

She blushed. “I asked Horace Slughorn to prepare it for me. I didn’t tell him it was for you,” she added hurriedly.

“It’s a lovely gift, Hermione. Thank you so much,” he said as he placed it on the side table. “Will it make my wish come true?” he asked.

“I don’t think it’s that powerful, Severus.”

“One can hope, can’t they?”

“Well, there’s nothing to say the wish won’t come true on its own,” she countered. Leaning in towards him, she whispered, “So, what are you going to wish for?”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “Now, if I told you that, it wouldn’t come true, would it?”

“Well, I guess not,” she said, looking a little disappointed.

“I’ll tell you what,” he continued. “If it does come true, you’ll be the first to know.”

She smiled conspiratorially at him. “I’ll take it.” Standing, she nodded at Severus. “This has been lovely, Severus. Thank you so much for inviting me for the evening.”

Severus stood as well. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yes, I have to get up early to travel to my parents’ home. I’ll need to be there at nine for breakfast. Besides, you need to use your gift.”

She stepped forward and hugged him. “Happy Christmas,” she said as she embraced him.

His arms came around her, and he squeezed her lightly. “Happy Christmas, Hermione.”

“I’ll see you when I get back. Enjoy your day of solitude tomorrow.”

He gave her a slight grin. She didn’t seem to want to leave, but she finally moved away from him, turned, and left his apartment. He sighed. It had been so nice having her in his arms. He picked up the potion from the table where he’d placed it. Looking at the deep purple hue, he wondered how realistic it would be. He respected Horace’s work. It wasn’t as good as his own, but he was certainly a very capable Potioneer. Besides, he’d been brewing before Severus even knew what a potion was.

He unstoppered the small vial, wished to have his heart’s desire, and downed the potion in one gulp. His vision fogged, and Hermione appeared in front of him. He marveled at the detail of his vision. She looked very real to him. He reached out and touched her. She even felt real.

The potion took its full effect, and he felt that he was not fully in control of his vocal cords. He began to speak to her.

“Hermione, I find that I grow more and more fond of you as time goes on.”

“Severus, I feel the same way.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

He gave a bark of a laugh. “I love you too. I just didn’t think you could feel the same way.”

“Oh, Severus, I love you,” she cried and pulled him close, hugging him as her lips crashed into his in a sultry kiss. His chest was on fire, and his heart leapt with joy. His arms surrounded her, and he pulled her close, kissing her passionately.

“I love you, too,” he said after a long while. “Marry me,” he whispered into her ear.

She pulled away to look into his eyes. “Oh, yes,” she said before she pulled his lips back to hers, and they continued their ravishing of each other.

The scene dissolved into smoke and emerged into another. He was watching Hermione in a beautiful white dress coming down an aisle. He looked down at himself and saw he was in a black suit with a black shirt and tie. This was their wedding. He looked back to Hermione, who was a vision to behold. Her hair was lifted up off her face, and her veil fell from the back of it. Her gown was a flowered lace creation with long sleeves. It draped behind her as she walked. She smiled at him, and he felt his heart would stop right there.

Finally, she was by his side, and they were saying their vows. The Wizard pronounced them husband and wife. Severus was compelled to bring Hermione to him and kiss her with abandon. He faintly heard the Wizard congratulate them, but he was too absorbed in Hermione to care. She moaned into him, and he groaned into her. In an instant, they were in his bedroom and had fallen on the bed. He caressed her body in the beautiful white dress as her hands unbuttoned his shirt and explored his chest.

He vanished their clothes, and what followed was the most mind-blowing lovemaking session he’d ever experienced. As they lay together afterward, Hermione turned to him and caressed his cheek.

“I am yours forever,” she said.

“And I am yours forever, Hermione,” he told her tenderly. “I love you.”

They snuggled together as sleep overcame them, and the vision ended. Severus found himself lying on the floor of his sitting-room. He closed his eyes. He’d need to thank Hermione again for such a wonderful gift. He’d have this vision with him forever, even if he never had the real Hermione.

The feelings that the vision had evoked had been so intense. His thoughts went to the wedding. Little had he known his subconscious had been craving marriage with the witch, but it had felt so right and so perfect. He didn’t expect that he’d really marry her, but oh, how he wished that were a possibility.

The whole segment gave him hope. Maybe there was a chance that he could have all of that with Hermione. Perhaps she could love him enough to want to be with him forever. Perhaps something that he wanted would turn out in his favor.

Severus got up from the floor and went into his bedroom. He lay down on his bed with his hands behind his head, deep in thought about the vision and his feelings for Hermione. His thoughts drifted to his out of body experience with Lily five years previously.

“Lily, you said I would find someone who would love me. I’ve found someone. Can she possibly ever love me? I don’t want some other witch, I want her.”

He closed his eyes again and wished that somehow, someway, his desires would come true.

“Please, Lily, just this once…”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only an Epilogue after this! I hope you've enjoyed everything. Thanks brenamarie, for the great comments and beta work.

Chapter 11

Christmas had come and gone. Severus had spent it peacefully locked up in his room. He had emerged to eat with the students, and then holed himself up again, buried in the latest issue of _Potioneer’s Secrets_. He had enjoyed the day off, but now he was back to work. Thankfully there was nothing to arrange for the school, so he had time to work on the anti-inhibition potion. He’d tweaked it yet again after the research that Hermione and he had done. He’d also changed a few things that they hadn’t discussed. The resulting potion was a little lighter blue than it had been. He hoped this time he’d gotten everything right. George was getting antsy for his new concoction to be available to his customers.

Severus removed the cauldron from the fire and placed it on the table. He moved over to his fireplace and stuck his head in it.

“Hermione,” he called.

Hermione looked up from her couch, where she had been reading.

“Severus?” she said, a bit startled.

“I’m sorry if I startled you. I’ve completed another batch of the potion. I was wondering when you’d have time to test it out?”

“Oh!” Hermione exclaimed. “Well, I’m not doing anything now. I supposed I could come through and give it a try.”

“Perfect, I’ll see you in a minute.”

Severus pulled his head out of the fireplace and moved back to the cauldron. He picked up a vial and carefully filled it with the draught. Hermione popped through the fireplace and brushed herself off.

“I don’t know why we can’t figure out a way of traveling through the fireplace without getting soot all over,” she complained.

Severus smirked at her. “Perhaps that will be your claim to fame.”

She shook her head at him, unable to hide her grin as she moved beside him and looked into the cauldron.

“Well, it looks a little different. That’s probably good, right?”

“Let’s hope so,” Severus agreed as he handed her the vial.

She looked at it skeptically. Shrugging she put the vial to her lips and swallowed the whole vial with a toss back of her head.

“Still orangey,” she described. Her eyes widened. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting it to work!” she cried.

Severus turned his head to look at her. “It worked?”

“Yes, and the taste is revolting! Ugh, can’t you flavor it with something other than orange?” she asked while looking at him sharply.

“Not an orange fan, okay,” he said. “What are you feeling?”

She smiled saucily at him. “I feel I should tell you that you look extremely handsome today, Severus. I’m glad you left your robes off.” She closed in on him, and her arms wrapped around him. “I feel like taking a chance with something I’ve wanted to do for a while.”

Severus couldn’t think. When her arms went around him, it was as if every nerve in his body came awake. “What is it you wanted to do?”

“This.” Her right hand weaved itself into his hair and pulled him close while her left hand grasped at him as if he were a lifeline. Her lips met his in a tender kiss. He moaned into her as her lips made him feel things that he’d never thought possible. His arms came up, and he pulled her even closer, deepening the kiss. Opening his mouth, he let her enter and explore him as he did the same to her. Merlin, this was so much better than any of the fantasies he’d had about her. He never wanted it to end.

His tongue played with hers, but he suddenly stopped as he felt wetness on his cheek. His eyes opened, and he pulled back to look at Hermione.

“You’re crying,” he said with concern.

She gasped. “Oh, Severus, I’m so sorry.” She backed away a few paces from him. “I shouldn’t have done that. It... it won’t happen again, I swear.”

He gaped at her as she turned and fled his room. His eyebrows knit together as he wondered what had just happened. They had both been blissfully into each other. Why had she run? He moved to the couch and sunk into it. Had he done something wrong? His shoulders sagged. Had the potion given her feelings she didn’t have? He was so confused.

He checked the clock. He’d have to wait an hour before searching her out. He wanted her to be potion free before he asked her why she had acted so oddly. Leaning forward he rested his elbows on his legs and put his head into his hands. He didn’t know whether to be ecstatic or crushed by her actions. What on earth was going on?

oooOOOooo

Severus knocked on Hermione’s door.

“Please, go away,” he heard her say from within.

“Hermione, let me in, please. We need to talk.” He waited a minute then knocked again. The door swung open of its own accord, and he entered the room to see Hermione sitting on the couch staring at the floor. He closed the door behind him quickly and rushed over to her, sitting beside her.

“Hermione, what happened back there? Why did you run out on me?”

Hermione closed her eyes. She looked like she was in pain. He wanted to reach out to her, but wasn’t sure if that would be helpful or not, so he sat quietly beside her and waited for her to speak. Finally, she cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry again, Severus. I got totally out of hand. I know you don’t feel like that for me. I promise I won’t do or say anything more about it. I should warn you, though, I saw two students in the hallway as I returned here and declared my love for you to them.” She turned her head away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” she whispered a third time.

“You love me?” he asked shyly.

“Can we just forget about this?” Hermione demanded as she looked at him.

“Of course not,” Severus countered. “It’s not every day the woman you love tells you she shares your feelings.”

She turned her head away and frowned. “Don’t toy with me. I thought you didn’t like it when people teased one another.”

His eyebrows knit together. “Hermione, you know I would never do such a thing.”

“Then don’t tell me things you think I want to hear,” she said with pain filling her voice.

Severus reached out and grasped her arm. She pulled back from him and wrapped her arms around herself.

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I am in love with you?” Severus asked finally.

“Because you can’t possibly be.”

“I don’t understand,” he said as he looked at her in confusion.

Her eyes met his, and she straightened herself proudly. “You’re in love with Harry’s mum. There’s no room in your heart to love anyone else,” she said finally. Standing quickly, she walked stiffly to the door. Reaching out and grabbing the handle, she opened it up and stood by it.

“I’d prefer if you left now,” she demanded.

He studied her as she stood there, ramrod straight. She was trying to appear brave, but he saw the tremor in her hand and the small tear gliding down her face. She was doing everything she could not to fall apart in front of him. Her brave front made his heart swell with love for her.

“I won’t leave until we’ve cleared this up,” he replied softly.

She wouldn’t look at him. She stared straight ahead and cleared her throat. Another treacherous tear fell down her cheek. “Please, Severus, leave now,” she begged.

He stood and walked over to her. Standing right in front of her, he looked into her eyes. She quickly averted them and studied the floor to his right. Lifting his hand, he caressed her cheek. Her eyes closed, and she enjoyed it for a minute before she yanked her face away from him.

“I asked you not to play games!” she cried, looking at him as if he’d crushed her world.

“Hermione, please, let me explain,”

She bitterly replied, “What’s to explain? You’re lonely and want some company? I won’t be a substitute for Lily Potter, and I know you couldn’t feel anything more for me than that.”

“Come and sit down with me. Give me half an hour. If what I tell you doesn’t make sense, I’ll go, and we’ll never speak of this matter again, but please, Hermione, I beg you, let me talk to you.”

If it was possible, she straightened herself up even more. “Ok,” she acquiesced. “But just a half-hour.”

Removing her hand from the door, he closed it quietly, turned to Hermione and led her back to the couch. He settled in next to her after she had sat.

“May I hold your hand?” he asked shyly.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she replied, looking down into her lap.

“All right,” he conceded. “You remember I told you about when I was in the coma after the war, how I had an epiphany while I was unconscious?”

She nodded.

“It was more than just a realization. I was visited by Lily.”

Hermione’s head snapped up, and she finally made eye contact with Severus. “But that…”

He held up a finger. “I know what you’re going to say. I thought it may have just been my subconscious as well, but it wasn’t. She knew things, Hermione. She knew my diagnosis, how long I’d been out, that I’d been exonerated, everything. It was too much for her not to have visited me.”

Hermione looked skeptical but nodded.

“We had a long conversation. She said that I had used my love for her as a shield, and it had suited me well during wartime. I didn’t risk anyone’s life because I never let myself get close to anyone. I used my love for Lily to keep me away from anyone who might become close to me. Lily told me it was time to give up on her and live my life so I could be happy.”

Hermione searched his eyes. “What did you tell her?”

He scoffed. “I told her I loved her of course, and that I always would.”

She looked down and nodded.

“We continued to discuss it. She explained that she’d only ever thought of me as a friend, nothing more. I got angry and blamed it on James, like always.” He chuckled. “She agreed with me.” He cleared his throat. “I suppose I should tell you I kissed her as well. She laughed at me.”

Hermione looked back at him. “I’m sorry, Severus.”

He stared at her. He didn’t understand how she could be feeling sorry for his rejection when she was crushed at the thought that he may reject her. Perhaps that’s what loving someone was all about... forgetting about yourself and wanting the other person to be happy. He certainly wanted that for her and would do anything to make her understand his feelings.

“Hermione, it was what I needed to hear. I fought her, oh how I fought her. I told her she was the only woman I would ever love, and I didn’t want to forget her.” He looked straight ahead. “Do you know what she told me?”

“What?” Hermione was now studying him intently, trying to anticipate his next words.

He turned and looked into her eyes. “She said that I would find someone who truly loved me, not just as a friend, but romantically. She said that person would be my soulmate and would make me forget about her.”

“When I awoke from the coma, I found that my love for Lily had diminished. Yes, I still loved her, I always will. She was my first love, and in some ways, she will always be with me, but my feelings for her finally felt like they were normal. I wasn’t obsessed with her, or with saving her son. I had nothing to prove to her. I could put her in her rightful place in my memories. For the first time in a very long time, I had hope for the future.”

He looked down at the carpet then. “I wondered if what she’d said about a soulmate could possibly be true. I felt hopeful that it might come true, after all, everything else she had said had been spot on. It felt odd having hope in something. It had been so long since I dared hope for anything, I surprised myself.

“I kept wondering when this woman would come into my life. When you walked into my office that day for your interview, deep down, I knew it was you.”

His eyes closed, and he took a deep breath. He wasn’t experienced in bearing his heart to someone. His background had required him to never be fully forthcoming to anyone. It frightened him. He had never laid himself bare like he was about to do, and he wasn’t sure if he’d survive if she didn’t believe him or didn’t want to see his sincerity. He was silent for a long time as he tried to calm his nerves. Steeling himself, he opened his eyes, turned to her, and grasped her hand, studying it while he spoke.

“Hermione, ever since your interview, I’ve been attracted to you. When you came here this summer, I found myself drawn to you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I still can’t… but I was hesitant to do anything about it because of our past. I know we’ve discussed it, and you have been very forgiving, but I couldn’t see you ever finding me attractive or wanting anything more than just a friendship with me. How could you? I was so horrible before.”

His eyes met hers. He thought he saw a glimmer of hope in them. He gave her a shy smile. “On Christmas Eve it was all I could do to restrain myself from telling you everything, but I was afraid. I thought I’d lose you completely if I told you the truth. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.”

He studied her face as he continued. “But now I feel like we’ve lost time, both feeling the same way about each other, yet too afraid to lose the friendship we already had. The thing is, Hermione, it can be so much more.”

“Severus, are you sure? I want us both to be happy. I couldn’t do this if you secretly thought of Lily every time you kissed me.”

He slowly leaned into her and placed his lips on hers. His kiss was reverent and slow. He relished every second of his lips pressed against Hermione’s. He knew in his heart that even heaven wouldn’t be as fulfilling as kissing her was. He pulled back after a few minutes.

“Pure Hermione, my love. There was no thought of Lily in that kiss… only you. I’m not hung up on a past love. I moved on a while ago, and all I want is you.”

Hermione gave a little laugh then and placed her forehead on his. “I have wanted this for months now. I’ve been miserable thinking it could never be.”

“We were both wrong,” Severus said before kissing her again. At long last, he pulled away from her. “Hermione, I love you, and only you.”

“Severus, I love you too.”

“Marry me,” he murmured, then his eyes grew wide at what he’d just asked. “I mean, not right away, but I want you with me always. I want to be your husband and you my wife. We don’t have to rush anything, but I want you to know that my love is everlasting, and I want to be with you forever.”

“Yes!” Hermione said with a gasp. “Oh, Severus, yes.”


	12. Chapter 12

Epilogue

Despite their determination to have a long engagement, they wed that summer. Kingsley Shacklebolt performed the ceremony right in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. Severus watched as Hermione proceeded down the center aisle in a beautiful white dress. He had never seen anyone look so beautiful ever. He knew he looked pretty good in his solid black ensemble. Black had always been his color. Gazing at his wife to be, he realized she looked just the way she had in the wish potion she’d given him for Christmas the previous year. Excitement filled him as she neared. She smiled at him, and he felt his heart would stop right there.

Finally, she was by his side, and they were saying their vows. Kingsley placed his wand on their wrists to seal the bonding. A bright light exploded from the gold and silver bands surrounding their wrists. Severus gasped as tears formed in his eyes. He looked to Hermione, whose mouth had dropped open in realization of what the spectacle meant.

“The bond of soulmates,” Kingsley declared in amazement as he finalized the bond. “You two were bound to be together before you were born. Your hearts are tied together as one and will never be alone again.”

At Kingsley’s pronouncement, Severus felt his heart join with Hermione’s. Their hearts entwined with one another, uniting them in a bond that would never be torn asunder. It was an amazing feeling to become one with his bride, to know that they would be together always, bound together in something that had been preordained for them. Their souls became one as an even brighter light surrounded the two of them, burst from them, and then was absorbed back into them in an instant. They were left gasping at the energy that was absorbed by both of them.

“You may kiss the bride,” Kingsley declared.

Severus came close, but before finalizing their bond with a kiss, whispered in her ear, “We are one.” He kissed her then, a chaste kiss with promise. The bonding sealed itself to them in that kiss. They felt it surround their bodies and meld them together. Severus’ heart soared. He finally had what he’d never had before... someone who loved him. What was even better was that Hermione loved him so completely. She would love him forever, as he would her. He pulled back and looked in her eyes, seeing the same love reflected back at him. He finally felt complete.

Much later that night, Severus lay in bed with his wife cuddled up to him. Her arm was draped over his chest and her head was nestled on his shoulder. She had fallen asleep a little while ago, but he found that sleep was evading him. His thoughts were filled with wonder that he’d actually gotten what he’d wanted for so long. He squeezed Hermione gently as she curled in closer to him. He was amazed that everything Lily had said would happen had actually came to be.

As he looked over at his wife, everything started to become fuzzy. The entire room faded to grey, and he felt like his body was being whisked away. In an instant, he found himself sitting on the swing from his near-death vision. The same white robe was on him, and he was swinging gently back and forth. He was startled by a voice.

“I told you that you would find someone who would make you forget me.”

His head turned and he saw Lily sitting on the swing next to him, also swaying back and forth.

“I will never forget you, Lily, but I will admit that you were right,” he whispered. “Hermione and I are soulmates… like Potter and you.”

Lily smiled. “So, how do you feel now?”

Severus smirked. “Like I told you before, I never thought I’d find anyone who could look beyond my faults.”

“You have worked hard to change those faults, Severus,” Lily interrupted.

Severus nodded. “Yes, that’s true, and Hermione loves me for who I am, faults and all. I finally feel complete.”

Lily reached out and grasped Severus’ hand, which was wrapped around the swing chain. “I told you there would be someone who would see beyond all that.”

Severus nodded slightly and turned his head to look forward. “I never thought that I’d stop loving you, Lily, but when I finally let go, I felt a freedom I didn’t think possible. I took your advice as well. I held my tongue, even when it seemed like my head would explode.” He looked back at Lily and met her eyes with his. “I became a better man thanks to you.”

She smiled at him. “You were always that good man, Severus. You’d just been beaten down by so many factors.”

“Thank you for helping me find that man within me.”

“Nonsense, Severus, you found him yourself,” Lily countered with a huff.

“Had you not been truthful with me, I probably would not have, though.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Severus, it’s okay to take credit for things, you know.”

Severus shrugged. “You know I’m not a braggart.”

“There’s a difference.”

“That’s true,” Severus admitted.

Lily rose and turned to him.

“It’s time for me to go,” she told him.

Severus rose from his swing as well. He went up to her and hugged her tightly.

“Will I see you again?” he said as he pulled back from her.

“Do you think you’ll need to?” Lily asked him.

“Well, need to, no, but I have enjoyed these random visits from you.”

Lily shrugged. “I wish I could return, but you said it yourself; you don’t need me.”

Severus pulled her into another hug. “Thank you, again, Lily. I wish the best for you.”

Lily pulled back and caressed his cheek. “Be happy my friend,” she said as she began to look a bit transparent.

“Goodbye, Lily,” Severus whispered as she disappeared from sight.

The bedroom slowly came back into focus, and Severus found himself lying as he had been with his wife snuggled up next to him. Severus squeezed her tightly, causing her to wake up. She moved her head so she could see him.

“Is everything all right?” Hermione asked him.

He smirked at her. “Of course. You’re here with me.”

Smiling, she kissed him on the nose before settling her head back down on his shoulder. “I love you,” she whispered as she began to drift off to sleep again.

“I love you, too,” he said as well, trying not to let the emotion of the moment show in his voice. “Forever.”

The last thing he felt before sleep overtook him was her kiss on his shoulder and her arm squeezing him. He couldn’t have felt more loved.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks! This major fluff fest is all done. Thank you all for sticking with it until the end. Hugs to those who left a comment, I appreciate all of you.
> 
> I have to give one last shoutout to my beta, brenamarie. You are amazing.
> 
> Keep an eye out for a niew Time-Turner fic from me. It's all done, and I'm just putting the final touches on it. It should start in about a month. (Yeah, I know, a new TT fic from me, surprising, right?)


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